Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Handwriting Horrors (25)

Friday
Oct192018

The Trouble With Scribbles

Cakes, the final affront here.

These are the continuing ravages of the Bakeshop Wrecksurprise.

Cakeman's Log: The shop is back to normal now, after a mysterious ailment afflicted my crew.

It started when we were accidentally exposed to corigrAtUIAt ions.

Maybe the big sign should have tipped us off.

 

Anyway, we didn't realize the danger until our handwriting started to devolve.

I mean, what do you call this?!

"It's red, Tim."

"That was a rhetorical question, Leonard."

"Oh. Sorry, boss."

 

I thought the crew just needed time to warm up, but the more cake I gave them, the more the handwriting problem seemed to multiply.

 

Spatial skills also began to deteriorate:

 

Pretty soon, this was the best we could do:

(Tilting your head doesn't help. I tried.)

 

Suddenly, I remembered the corigrAtUIAt ions!

It. Was right. THERE. In. Front of our. EYES!

 

I ordered the crew to our decontamination facilities.

The loy quickly neutralized all the corigrAtUIAt - and even better, gave me an excuse to rip off my uniform.

(Hellooooo, ladies!)

 

The crisis averted, I'm happy to report the crew is back to our normal standards.

"How's this, Boss?"

"Perfect. And I LOVE your new red shirt."

 

Official commendations to Jill P., Beth F., Carrie B., Break'er Bikes, Carrisa, Shelby P., Laura A., and Alicia S. for doing the yeoman's work of finding these cakes. You made us positively beam by sharing these examples of IDIC (Infinite Diversity in Imperfect Cakes.)

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Friday
Aug242018

Hunker Down, and WRITE IT OUT

Sometimes I feel like a cake archeologist, minions. I inspect the clues, sift through the remains, and try to figure out what happened in the past.

For example....

Something terrible has happened here.

 

Some events are pretty straightforward:

The old "ran out of icing" story.

 

There's also the classic "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the border":

 

Or its variation, "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the roses":

 

Here we see evidence of significant toothpick scraping, often indicative of the "I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here" dynasty of the Mid-Graduation era:

Ahhh. Magnificent.

 

You know that thing in restaurants where everyone is singing Happy Birthday to some stranger three tables over, and you all just mumble your way through the name part?

This is that, in cake form:

 

Sadly some mysteries will never be solved. Instead we'll be left to forever wonder... the 5th what?

 

I think I've cracked the code on this next one, though. Here's a recreation of the ACTUAL EVENTS, as played by hired actors in my head:

"What do you mean, 'last minute?' Of course we custom-ordered your cake, Miranda! Weeks ago! This was totally planned!"

 

While we'll never know for sure what happened to wrecks of the past, one thing is certain: the longer you look at this one, the funnier it gets:

Seriously.

I'm crying.

(I wonder who did the bigger spit-take: me or the baker.)

 

Thanks to Tex, Betsy P., Diamond, Philip L., Allison P., M.R., Lauren P., Miranda, & Kelsie L. for digging these up.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: