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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Handwriting Horrors (17)

Thursday
Mar142013

We Don't Need No Lava Soap, Pope

All everyone seems to be talking about right now is the new Pope, so I feel duty-bound to bring you some relevant cakes and punny commentary.

There's a new Pope in town - DON'T CROSS HIM.

 

I know, I know; that was terrible. Crappy, even. Here, let me see what else I've got ...

[searching wrecks]

Ok, so it turns out I have no Pope cakes. Who knew? Maybe everyone's making them today, and I'll have a big influx of funny hat cakes tomorrow? (Fingers crossed!) 

Ah, but I *do* have communion cakes, and those are kind of Pope-y, right?

 

 "Camunicen" must be one of the more obscure sacraments.

 

You won't think this next one is quite so terrible when I tell you the writing was done using nothing but those little squeeze packets of ketchup:

 

 I'll be lying when I tell you that, though, so maybe you should go ahead and keep thinking it's terrible.

 

I think this is supposed to be a Bible:

If so, then this bakery deserves to have the (good) book thrown at them.

 

Ever wonder what happens when a baker's ego gets SERIOUSLY out of control? 

 

Huh. And here I didn't know Donald Trump even liked cake decorating.

 

I do have a few more related wrecks, but I'm pretty sure if I posted them I'd start a holy war in the comments of Epcotian proportions.

In related news, would it surprise you to learn that I have not one, not two, but FOUR DIFFERENT CAKES shaped like the head of Jesus wearing the crown of thorns? And one shaped like Him bleeding on the cross? Because I do, people. THOSE CAKES EXIST. I feel sacrilegious just looking at them.

Thankfully I can turn to the patron saint of butchered shamrocks for comfort, though. And also for laughs.

 

Ok, mostly laughs.

 

Thanks to Shannon H., Stephanie C., Vicky H., Darla D., Shannon U., & Allison K., who shall henceforth be singing this jingle every time they see the Pope on TV. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Friday
Dec212012

STILL HERE

I'm particularly proud of today's lyrics, so for the full effect, hit play and start scrolling:


**********

 

I found the species of this land

Often aren't all there

This one took some time for me to understand

They gave me words I just can't say

Somehow this sells

Proving Cake Wrecks is still here to stay

'Cuz even though they don't like me sooo snide

That's the thing that makes me feel alive!

 

The Mayans show

You just can't know    

Why some people are so slow

But weeee're stiiiiill heeeeere

If they were right we'd all be gone

But big surprise: THEY WERE WRONG

 

 

And weeee can cheer:

STILL HERE!

 

Thanks to Stacey L., Nancy H., Kimm W., Julie G., Ben M., Kama K., & Lisa N. for the staying power.

 

P.S.

 

P.P.S. Clean water and memories to last a lifetime. You can give both by supporting these two amazing charities.