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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Handwriting Horrors (16)

Friday
Dec212012

STILL HERE

I'm particularly proud of today's lyrics, so for the full effect, hit play and start scrolling:


**********

 

I found the species of this land

Often aren't all there

This one took some time for me to understand

They gave me words I just can't say

Somehow this sells

Proving Cake Wrecks is still here to stay

'Cuz even though they don't like me sooo snide

That's the thing that makes me feel alive!

 

The Mayans show

You just can't know    

Why some people are so slow

But weeee're stiiiiill heeeeere

If they were right we'd all be gone

But big surprise: THEY WERE WRONG

 

 

And weeee can cheer:

STILL HERE!

 

Thanks to Stacey L., Nancy H., Kimm W., Julie G., Ben M., Kama K., & Lisa N. for the staying power.

 

P.S.

 

P.P.S. Clean water and memories to last a lifetime. You can give both by supporting these two amazing charities.

 

Monday
Oct012012

October is Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month

Hi, my name is john, and I'm a caffeine-oholic. It's been 4 months since my last 2-liter of Diet Mountain Dew, and today I feel so much bett...zzzZZZZzzz.

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh.

Well, um, aside from sleeping most of the time, I feel like a million bucks. Plus the jitters and facial tics are almost gone!

So today, I'd like to encourage some of you bakers out there to also give up the sauce, since it's obviously affecting your work:

 

Some of you might remember the great Jolt Epidemic of 1996.

Those were dark times.

 

Now, I know what you're thinking: "How am I [twitch] going to [twitch] finish all these %&;$#! cakes if I don't have my morning cocktail of Red Bull and Turkish coffee with a NoDoz chaser?! [twitchtwitchtwitch]"

 

 Well, I'm not gonna lie: it'll be hard at first. You may find yourself nodding off every now and then. Or every five seconds.

 

But with time you'll find you can stand still again without registering a 4.8 on the Richter scale:

 

And you'll soon feel clear-headed enough to yell intelligible curses at the customers who ask for a Hunger Games cake with fewer spills on it:

 

And then - THEN - you can finally get back to misspelling things legibly again.

 

Oh, joy.

 

Thanks to Anony M., Gabrielle S., Joe V., Kerri E., Katherine L., Amy S., Jr M., and Joy S. for the buzz kills.