My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Handwriting Horrors (20)


You Might Be A Wreckerator If...

Bakers, do you worry that you, too, might be a wreckerator?

Well, have no fear, pastry pros! There are plenty of warning signs to look for:


You Might Be A Wreckerator If....

- consider "happy" a four-letter word.


- ...your cakes have more plastic on them than frosting.


- ...when you say, "I could just eat you up!" to a baby, you really mean it.

"It's...looking at me."
"Ugly little spud, isn't it?"
"I think it can hear you, Ray."


- ...cupcake cakes are your "specialty."


- ...your family crest says, "Spell check is for loosers."


- like to watch CSI for the design inspiration.


 - not only know what this is, you think it's well done:


-'re frequently asked what time the earthquake hit.


- pride yourself on following customer requests to the letter:


And finally, you might be a wreckerator if... have to ban photography in your bakery to stop your cakes from showing up on Cake Wrecks.

(I get the e-mails, folks; I know you're out there!)


Thanks to Kimber, Amy S., Lori M., Carrie M., Whitney, Mary Rose, Liz, Joshua S., Stephanie B., Lisa R., & JR, who think it'd make more sense to just hire better bakers, but that's why they're not "good" management material.

So what'd I miss, guys? Share your favorite "you might be a wreckerator if..." in the comments, and maybe I'll pick some to feature in a future post. You know, if they're funny. Or say nice things about me. I'm also not above bribery. And I like Whoopie Pies. (Mmmmm, whoooopie piiiiies...)


Do We Have To Pay Royalties For This?

On June 27th, 1859, sisters Patty & Mildred Hill wrote the most famous song everyone-hates-to-sing: the Happy Birthday song.

Then, at some point I'm too lazy to look up, someone else decided we should honor that song's birthday with a national holiday/birthday celebration. Which is way too meta for this hour of the morning. But whatever. You know the drill: sing the stupid song and you'll getcher cake. Capiche?


Haaappy biiiirthdaaaay,
Tooo you!

"I HATE this song."

"Shaddup, kid."


(Now like you're drunk!)

Haaappy biiiirfday,

Tooo joo... ooh, I think I'm gonna be sick....


(Now like you forgot the person's name!)

Happy BIIIRTHDAY dearrrr...

...Oa...v... gAAAABBY!!


(Now like you're at a Japanese steakhouse!)


(That handwriting is the visual equivalent of having a metal pot placed over your head and falling down a flight of stairs, so...appropriate.)


(Now like you forgot how many verses there are!)

Happy BIRTHDA...

Wait, I think we're supposed to be done...

Do we get cake now? Oh, good. Never mind.


Thanks to Dawn S., Solange A., Parsl, Kristina, & Sandy ...And NO SINGING!