My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (427)


The Bearly There Ninja Bears!


In every bakery there are treats that are so bad, they need protection from the cruel taunts, jabs, and giggles of Cake Wrecks readers.


Lucky for these hapless, hopeless wrecks, a group of mighty protectors have risen stuff.


We call them...

The Barely There® Ninja Bears!



Don't be fooled. Those bear pops may look cute, but make one false move and it's pandamonium.



Many bakeries have already employed this team of highly-dangerous bears to safeguard their most ridiculed desserts.


Consider yourself bamboozled.



With years of ninja training and camouflage mastery, these deadly assassins hide in plain sight.

The "poostronaut bear" is a popular disguise for ruthless killing machines:

"I am a ruthless killing machine."



There is no match for this vicious blood-thirsty beast, cleverly disguising himself as an overly-frosted sheepdog:


Do not underestimate his power to nuzzle you... to death!



 With ninja bear protection, wrecked cakes and cookies can be proudly displayed on the top shelf, with every hope of actually being purchased.


Don't laugh. The first two Adams laughed.


And never forget that they're watching you.
And they're Ninjas.
With no sense of humor.
So don't screw with them, man.



Thanks to Beth L., Jessica T., Elizabeth B., Courtney M., and Stephanie B. for the bear necessities.



Passive Aggression is a Dish Best Served Iced

Passive aggression comes in many forms, but I prefer the subtle approach for added deniability. The message is still there, of course, but it's not so obvious as to get you immediately disowned.

"Here's a big dead tree to represent your general state of witheredness. 

"Oh, and..." [jazz hands] "Happy birthday."


If she asks, it's a crown. But we both know better.

"No, Mom, of COURSE that's not a hand giving you the finger. It's a crown. Because you are a ROYAL...delight."


There is absolutely nothing wrong with this engagement cake:

...except that the groom's name is Nathan.

Nathan = 0

Mother-in-Law = + 20


When the subtle approach isn't getting the job done, though, sometimes you have to step up your game. And then put it in quotes:

"Also, I got this off the week-old clearance rack. For free."


Vicky: "It's not even my birthday!"

 "We know; we just wanted to make extra sure you knew you were being excluded."


"No, seriously, we're reeeeally sorry about that. Now, can we get you some cake? Or a drink? Maybe some adult diapers?"


Sarah C. claims she only asked for Happy Birthday, and the baker overheard her saying the rest on the phone to someone else. Riiiiight. How'd that excuse fly with the birthday girl, Sarah?


With friends like this, who needs text-speaking enemies bearing lousy Coco Chanel knock-off cakes?


Of course, when it comes to passive aggressive cakes, nothing can ever compare to the ones mom used to make.

Right, Jason?

Oops, looks like we just missed Jason - he's gone on a guilt trip. See ya when you get back, buddy! "Enjoy!"

Thanks to Anne M., Courtney B., Emily K., Greer D., Laura P., Jessica S., Jennifer B., Sarah C., Faigie L., & Sue F., who will always still love me. Right, guys?

Guys? ...Hello?