My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (439)


Let's Talk Turkey

Tur-key (noun)

1. A large game bird native to North America, having a bald head and (in the males) a red wattle.

2. Something that is extremely or completely unsuccessful.



It's a turkey.


I have to admit I get a pleasant buzz of nostalgia this time of year, though, when all the same turkey wrecks show up again at our nation's bakeries. They're kind of like relatives: consistent, dependable, and unavoidable no matter how hard you try to convince them to take the holidays off and just take a trip to the Bahamas for once. GEEZ.


And look, the gang's all here!  I'm sure you all remember Electrified Turkey:


 And Roadkill Turkey:

The squiggly tire tracks are a nice touch.


Then there's the NBC Peacock Turkey:


 The Flaming Football Turkey:


And a personal favorite, the "Please-don't-kill-me-I'm-just-a-wee-little-bird-stuck-in-the-side-of-a-taco" Turkey:


Silly old bird.


But just like these cakes themselves, we can always depend on bakers to prove that if there's one thing more disturbing than a turkey cake...

 It's a cooked turkey cake.



Thanks to Julie P., Jenniffer P., Angelica W., Ashley K., Annie L., Andrew B., & Allison M., who I just realized all have names that start with either A or J. IT'S A PRE-THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!



[NOTE: In an effort to be more efficient/lazy, I may have written this post last week. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell, though, so forget I even mentioned it.]


My dear wreckies, the end is officially nigh. In fact, I think it's safe to say that the end has never been MORE nigh than it is at this very moment. It is a moment FULL OF END NIGH-NESS.

With President [insert winner's name here] in office, our country will soon be nothing but a moldering pile of Taco Bell wrappers and Snookie CDs. The seas will boil over. The sun will burn. The stars will do crazy loop deloops, but, like, in a really bad way.

Frogs will rise up from ponds everywhere and hippity-hop all over our lawns.


And then they'll eat our daisies.



All birthdays will be cancelled, and replaced with "buttdays."


Our new national flag will be a giant flip-flop...STOMPING ON AN AMERICAN HEART.


And perhaps most terrifying of all: a legion of lop-sided zombie Barbie cakes will slide menacingly onward, the better to consume our very souls:

Yes, my friends, with the inevitable campaign of doom and destruction heralded by President [insert winner's name here], our only hope can now be in hunkering down with enormous cases of peanut butter while we await the apocalyptic....uh...hang on...

Did someone seriously make a WEDDING CAKE out of WHOOPIE PIES??

Best. Idea. EVER.


 Ok, never mind that other stuff. We're good.


Thanks to  Susan F., Debbie A., Anony M., Alexandra, & Gregory H. for putting things back in their proper perspective. Peace, love, and whoopie pies, baby. Awww yeeeaah.