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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (496)

Friday
Sep132013

Wrecktastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

I'm sure you've heard the big news by now: we're getting a new Harry Potter movie!!

Well, ...ish.

Ok, so really they're making a movie based on a "companion textbook" that Rowling wrote for Harry Potter called Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. After that we get a run of Advanced Potions Off-Broadway and Herbology 101: The Reckoning.

Now, you may be wondering how exactly one turns a reference compendium of magical beasts into a movie.

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

***

[Scene opens on a brightly lit Quidditch field. A crowd of fantastical beasts emerges from the forest. followed by two zoo keepers.]

"Why, Dorfus, me boy, how's that ol' Blast-Ended Skrewt of yours?"

 

"Not bad, not bad, Grackby, but that Bubble-Snouted Lardypuss over there is giving me trouble."

 

"Really? I found his species quite charming. The Spotted Brandly Grouser, on the other hand..."

"Well, his cousins did lose their eyes yesterday.

 

"Say, have you seen our new Pan Galactic Gargle Mooner?"

 

"No, but I spotted a Bumble-Gristled Rhino-Phant in the muck back there."

 

"Aye, I 'spect he's a bad case of Turpentoan Jelly-Mites. Remind me to spray for those later, will you?"

 

"Only if you remind ME to clear out the Dementor Lizards in the head master's sock drawer!"

 

"Haha! 'Course I will, ol' chap! Ooh, say, is that a Twister-Lichen Taffy Fox??

"Yes, and I've always wondered: what DOES the fox say?"

[both laughing merrily]
[fade out]

THE END

 

Thanks to Amanda O., Amy & Cassidy, Fariah, Ilaria K., Sara P., Alia B., Suzanne B., & Sarah F. for that magical education.

 

Now, sit back, relax, and prepare to learn... WHAT THE FOX SAYS:

Friday
Sep062013

TMI Celebrations

While I agree that no celebration is complete without cake, I also think some celebrations should maybe be a bit more private than others:

Please tell me you invited the in-laws.

 

Ahhh, that sweet, sweet moment when your wife throws you a surprise Vasectomy Recovery party:

I hear if you buy two they throw in the bag of frozen peas for free.

(OH YES I DID.)

 

I looked it up. It really is a thing. So I have two questions: who are you getting this cake for, and how will that not end badly for you?

 

Of course, nothing will lead to a round of denials as much as this:

C'mon. Does anyone ever admit to watching this show?

 

But for the ultimate "I-just-learned-something-I-never-wanted-to-know-about-you" dessert, we have this:

So many puns, so few of them safe for work...

 

Let's all give a hand to Heather M., Alison K., Laura W., Helen J., & Nicole A. for today's wrecks.

****

Funny story about that last cake: it was commissioned by none other than Mr. Bill Murray during the filming of Moonrise Kingdom as a joke for one of the guys working on set. (Cameron was turning 21.) Nicole worked craft services for the movie, and was responsible for fetching the cake from a local bakery. She tells me Murray also insisted on taking Cameron out for his first drink, and was fantastic to the whole crew, and I am insanely jealous of all of them. :)