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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (503)

Thursday
Sep192013

The Wreckers Who Don't Bake Pirate Things

Hey, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Bo-ring.

Since everyone else is talking like pirates, I think we should sing like pirates!

***

 

♫  Arr arr ARR!!

We are the wreckers 

who don't bake pirate things!

Any ship we make

  Looks run-aground!

 

And if you ask us

To bake pirate things... 


We'll just tell you...

We can't bake pirate things.


Wellllllll weeeee've ... 

Never seen a doubloon

And our "octopus" ain't clever

And we think the Jolly Roger 

is that weird guy from the mall!

And our swords are always phallic

 Treasure Island's full of plassss-tic!

And our pirate chest 

looks like it took a fall!

'Cauuusssee weeee're the

Wreckerrrrs! 

Who can't bake pirate things


See, our skull and 'bones 

will astound!!

So if you ask us 

to bake pirate thiiinnngggsss...

We'll just tell you...

We can't bake pirate things.


***


There now. Arrrrrn't you glad we're done?


Thanks to Laura I., Vicki H., Cindy G., April L., Dianne P., Jeanne T., Courtney S., Sara H., Shannon T., and Steph R., who I trust have never kissed a chipmunk.


All together now, ye scalawags!

 

 

Friday
Sep132013

Wrecktastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

I'm sure you've heard the big news by now: we're getting a new Harry Potter movie!!

Well, ...ish.

Ok, so really they're making a movie based on a "companion textbook" that Rowling wrote for Harry Potter called Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. After that we get a run of Advanced Potions Off-Broadway and Herbology 101: The Reckoning.

Now, you may be wondering how exactly one turns a reference compendium of magical beasts into a movie.

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

***

[Scene opens on a brightly lit Quidditch field. A crowd of fantastical beasts emerges from the forest. followed by two zoo keepers.]

"Why, Dorfus, me boy, how's that ol' Blast-Ended Skrewt of yours?"

 

"Not bad, not bad, Grackby, but that Bubble-Snouted Lardypuss over there is giving me trouble."

 

"Really? I found his species quite charming. The Spotted Brandly Grouser, on the other hand..."

"Well, his cousins did lose their eyes yesterday.

 

"Say, have you seen our new Pan Galactic Gargle Mooner?"

 

"No, but I spotted a Bumble-Gristled Rhino-Phant in the muck back there."

 

"Aye, I 'spect he's a bad case of Turpentoan Jelly-Mites. Remind me to spray for those later, will you?"

 

"Only if you remind ME to clear out the Dementor Lizards in the head master's sock drawer!"

 

"Haha! 'Course I will, ol' chap! Ooh, say, is that a Twister-Lichen Taffy Fox??

"Yes, and I've always wondered: what DOES the fox say?"

[both laughing merrily]
[fade out]

THE END

 

Thanks to Amanda O., Amy & Cassidy, Fariah, Ilaria K., Sara P., Alia B., Suzanne B., & Sarah F. for that magical education.

 

Now, sit back, relax, and prepare to learn... WHAT THE FOX SAYS: