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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (461)

Monday
Jan282013

How To Turn A Lazy Sunday Afternoon Into Monday's Post

It's Sunday right now where I am, which is to say in the past, since obviously you're reading this in the future, which is to say on Monday. Or maybe even later than Monday, since maybe you only check Cake Wrecks a few times a week, so it could be, like, WEDNESDAY or something right now.

Let me start again.

It's Sunday right now where I am, and John won't get off the Xbox so I can play Epic Mickey 2, so instead I'm sitting here tweeting about how I should be working. Then I realized: hey, if I'm writing, that IS working! Because that's how being a prefessional blogger works: 1) you write, 2) people read, 3) ??, 4) PROFIT.

Of course, at some point I'm going to have to throw in a picture of a funny cake, because I know how you people get if I yammer on too long without pictures of funny cakes. (PRO TIP: All readers enjoy being referred to as "you people.")

Let's see....Oh, ok, here's an idea: I'll just share whatever random thoughts come into my head, and then I'll illustrate them with cake. What could go wrong? {HILARIOUS FORESHADOWING}

Here goes.

I really like the colors cherry red and chocolate brown together. Or maybe I'm just in the mood for cherry chocolate cake. DISCUSS.

Ok, you can stop discussing it now. The mood has officially passed.

 

I have one of those page-a-day desk calendars on my desk, and it's a week out of date, because I keep forgetting to rip off a page-a-day. I bet this cake is exactly like that, only in reverse:

(Don't over think it. Trust me, I don't.)

 

While I was getting that cake I found this next one, and I have to say: I am convinced you guys do this to me on purpose, because you KNOW it makes me crazy dizzy:

HOW DID THE CAKE GET STUCK TO THE CEIL - oh.

So...dizzy...brain...cannot...compute.... Seriously, wreckporters, hat tip for getting the shot and all, but is it REALLY so hard to WALK AROUND THE TABLE and take the picture from there? Is it? I bet even Aggie #4 would know to do that!

 

And since I've started some kind of number theme here, check out what Meg W. found on a school website:

Ah, our future generations are in good hands. WHAT A RELIEF.

 

But enough about Meg and our future. Let's get back to me, and how John is still - STILL - on the Xbox.

I have a special place in my heart for bakers who make sculpted grooms' cakes of things they not only have never seen, but also don't even care enough about to find any kind of reference photo. "Oh, it's a box? Called the 'Xbox 360 Live'? And this is the game it plays? GOT IT."

(One might wonder why the controller almost looks like a controller, but that would mean one was over-thinking it. STOP THAT, ONE.)

 

Honestly, I'm not sure why I even WANT to play Epic Mickey 2 anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong; it has the advantage over the first game in that you can actually, you know, move. (TRUE FACT: Epic Mickey 1 didn't need enemies; you just fought the controls the whole time. [Oh snap!]) But the game is just not good. And yet I keep playing, because the concept is so cool that it has to GET good at some point, right? [INSERT OBSERVATION ON LIFE HERE]

(If you haven't heard of it, Epic Mickey uses a post-apocalyptic Disney World kind of setting, and all the characters are creepy and broken and deformed and man this is just too easy:

"Ooh HOO! Keep running around doing confusing, repetitive tasks in giant trash heaps while Cary Elwes narrates the massively overly-complicated plot lines, ok? Ha-yuck!"

Yep, it's just not good, I'm telling you. It's frustrating and uneven and bewildering and...what's that? John's taking a break for lunch? YAY I GET TO PLAY EPIC MICKEY 2 SOME MORE!!

 

Thanks to Megan W., Vivian G., Jamis, Meg W., Jill F., & Jenna S. for understanding that sometimes you just have to have a one-sided relationship with a video game.

Tuesday
Jan222013

A Team Effort

Ever wonder how a Cake Wrecks post gets written? Well, sometimes, it's like this:

 

Me: "I need a post idea. Any funny holidays coming up?"

John: [googling] "Hmm. Oh. Here we go: it's National Self-Help Group Awareness Month."

Me: "Isn't a 'self-help' group an oxymoron?"

John: [Already back to playing Tiny Wings on his phone] "Mmmmmhmmmm."

Me: "And what cakes would I use, anyway?"

::five minutes later::

Me: "Found one! Look:"

"See, the cupcakes on the right are all, 'Help me!!' and the left ones are like, 'DO EET YERSELF.' Eh?"

John: [glancing over] "You can't use those. They look like KKK cupcakes."

Me: "Ha! Yeah, but...they're chocolate. C'mon. That's kind of awesome."

John: "NOPE."

Me: "Fine. What else have you got?"

John: "Er..." [scrolling] "...next week is Meat Week."

Both together: "Naaah."

John: "Glaucoma Awareness Month?"

Me: "Oooh! I have the perfect cake for that!"

"No, wait, wait. HERE we go:"

Me: Bwahahaha!! Right? RIGHT?!"

John: [silence]

Me: "Or is that cataracts?"

John: "I don't understand. Do you ENJOY hate mail?"

Me: "Ok, Ok, never mind."

John: "Next you'll want to use Stocking Awareness Month. "

Me: "That's this month? Weird. You'd think it'd be last month."

John: "Why?"

Me: [busy clicking]

John: "You're not actually writing about Stocking Awareness Month, are you?"

Me: [still clicking] "Mmmhmm...."

John: "Jen..."

Me: "Hang on. Busy here."

John: "Jen..."

Me: "K, how 'bout this one?"

"Were you AWARE that this is, in fact, a stocking?"

John: [staring]

Me: "What? Not good enough?"

John: "It's 'stocking' with an 'AL.' You know, stalking?"

Me: [eyes wide] "Ooooooooooh."

John: "Yeah."

Me: "Well, I guess that makes more sense."

John: "Yeah."

Me: "But I think I have a cake for..."

John: "I'm going to stop you there. It's also National Handwriting Analysis Week. GO WITH THAT."

Me: "Ok, ok. FINE."

 

So without further ado, my dear Wreckies, here is today's post:

 

It's National Handwriting Analysis Week. I can tell you that the baker of today's cake was a focused individual with a flair for the dramatic, as well as someone who channels his or her emotions through humor. He or she may also have a less than helpful spouse who is MORE than welcome to write a post again himself sometime. JUST SAYIN'.

 

Thanks to Katrina V., Traci C., Selena E., Amanda R., & Brea S. for making today a day worth celebrating. And also thanks to John, my sweet hubby, for still laughing at all my jokes even while telling me I absolutely can NOT write that.