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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (416)

Friday
Mar162012

Pucker Up, St. Patrick!

Friends, tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, and that means you're going to be facing down a drunken horde wearing funny green hats and demanding that you kiss them. [KISS ME]

But I'm here to help. [KISS ME NOW!]

 

First, you should know that alcohol has a way of reducing inhibitions, and also that Oscar here may have sniffed a little too much finger paint yesterday:

"Let's get trashed!!"

 

Second, just because a person is Irish doesn't mean you have to kiss them.

I'm getting some mixed signals here, to be honest.


Hey, this is a free country! You can kiss any one or any thing you want! Still, there are a few red flags to watch for when deciding whether or not someone is worthy of the ol' lip lock.

Things like...

Noticeable drool:

"The claaaawww."

 

Excessive, creepy staring:

"Your hide will make a fine poncho!"

 

Excessive, creepy tongue:

"Yiiiiipth yipth yipth yipth yipth yipth..."

 

Now let's run through a quick role-playing exercise, so I can show you how to gracefully escape any awkward kissing-negotiation situation:

Hopeful Would-Be Kisser:

"Well hello there." [eyebrow waggle] "As you can see by my funny green hat and pipe, I am obviously Irish! So you have to kiss me!"

[puckering up and leaning in]

 

Unenthusiastic Kiss Avoidee:

[ **** ]

 

Newly Unnerved Would-Be Kisser:

"Oh...uh...I say! Look at that thing over there that I have to go attend to immediately! Er...nice... meeting you?"

 

See? Works every time! And this is a fool-proof strategy, because it places you squarely in the "excessive creepy staring" category, which no one wants to tangle with.

Just be careful you don't take it too far:

On the plus side, he won every staring contest. Consecutively.

 

Thanks to Renee B., Kristen S., Meredith B., Darice & Sean, Anony M., Chris, Pamela H., June S., & Jaycee for the lucky break.

Monday
Mar122012

The Many Faces of Constipation

Well, ok, maybe just two of them:

I guess now we know why they're always angry.

 

Thanks to Kevin C. for his special report on "The Fecal Failures of Furious Fowl."