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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (566)

Monday
Apr282014

Confessions Of A Master Baker

Welcome to another installment of...

Confessions of a Master Baker!
"Ordinary bakers. Extraordinary feats of bad judgment."


[baker's silhouette speaking in disguised voice]
"I guess I got a bit carried away with the chocolate drizzle -- you know, it's always a bit of a crap shoot..."

"I made my mother-in-law deliver it."

 

[whispered] Confessions...

 

"...and then I found myself smashing a disco ball on top of it."

 

[small sob] "I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!"

 

[whispered] Revelations...

 

"They loved skiing. Nothing says 'skiing' like giant plastic pickles and shredded Parmesan, right?" [hiccups]

"I didn't realize how bad it was 'til the bride threw it at me."

 

[whispered] Disclosures...

 

"They said they wanted 'steampunk,' so I googled it. Gears, tentacles, balloons - I was all, 'Hey, I got this.'"

"And, boy, did I get it."

 

[sound of pages flipping]
Uh...
ah!
[whispering] Formal professions of guilt...

 

"So then I said, 'hey, you know what'd be cute? Camouflage butterflies."

"But the bride just didn't see it."

 

Next week... on Confessions of a Master Baker:

"So I figured, put the babies ON the carrots..."

[light behind figures fades to black]

 

Thanks to Jessica W., Michelle B., Melanie J., Stella P., & Natalie S. for the delicious divulgences.

*****

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Wednesday
Apr232014

Where There's A Will

It's Talk Like Shakespeare Day!

So, instead of making Much Ado About Wrecking, we're just going to let the Bard himself insult the cakes.

 

"They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces."
- Coriolanus

 

"Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood."
- King Lear

 

"I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!"
- The Tempest

 

"Thy food is such
As hath been belch'd on by infected lungs."
- Pericles

 

"Thou lump of foul deformity!
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes."
- Richard III

 

"I wonder that you will still be talking. Nobody marks you."
- Much Ado About Nothing

 

"A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; base, proud, shallow...

 

 

"...beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson...

 

"... glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave, one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch...

"... one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition."

- King Lear


Wow. Uh, thanks, Will. I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks to Elisabeth T., Kimberly L., Alexandra D., Mallie R., Amy P., Rebecca C., Jennifer S., Libby W., Alison, and Talley. Fair befall you!

*****

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