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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (361)

Wednesday
Dec012010

Wreck and Roll

Ever thought it was IMPOSSIBLE to have all of your favorite 80s hits in one place? That there was simply NO WAY to hear all of the hottest artists together in one jam-packed jam session? That you could ever only enjoy that much music in some magical world, where thousands of songs could easily fit on a lightweight portable device? Well, you're right. (That would be CRAZY.) So until then, we're offering you the musical deal of a lifetime!!

That's right, with the "Wreckin' Rock Power Mix," you'll never miss a beat. This colossal power-collection comes delivered to your doorstep in 6 dominating power-boxes of 23 LPs or 39 power cassette tapes. That's 846 power-hits!

We'll include the tastiest of licks, like:

 

"Writing on Sunshine"

 

"I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! And I bet it tastes good! HeH! Alright now!"


"Love is a Battlefield"

 

"We are strong! No one can tell us pink's wrong!"

 

 

"Dancing on the Ceiling"

 

"Ooh, what a feeling! When you're dancing on the... seriously, did you notice that this cake was written on upside-down? Really... look at it again."

 

"Hungry Like the Wolf"

 

"Lost in the bakery, too pink to hide. I'll cause a toothache right when you take a bite.
Do do dooo do do doo do do doo do do doo do dooo dooooooo."

 

 

"She Blinded Me With Science"

 

"She blinded me with science (SCIENCE!) and failed me in the bakery."

 

 

"Tainted Love"

 

"Sometimes I feel I've got to uhn uhn run away. I've got to uhn uhn get away from all the cupcake cakes you sell to me..."

 

 

"Let's Get Physical"

 

"Crack that whip!"


...and more! You'll never find a more rocktastic compilation of all of the best artists from yesterday and beyond. And if you call now, we'll also include a FREE bonus 8-track cassette of all of the best songs from the 70s! These songs will blast your earholes into another sound dimension!!

 

 

"Lean on Me"

 

"Lean on me... when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend. I'll help you caaarry severaltiersofcakeandfrosting. Andpossiblysomeprincessflotsam!"

 

 

"I Melt With You"

 

"I'll stop the world and melt this food. You've seen the Cake Wrecks, and they're getting better all the time."

 

 

and "Crocodile Rock."

 

"I remember when rock was young. Me and Suzy had so much... DEAR GOD, what IS that thing!?? AAAAAAAgggGHGHH! EEeeeAAAAGHHH!!"

 

 

Call now!

 

Other artists include Emily W., Cassandra B., and Becky W. in the hot 80s trio "The Wreckinettes." Bonus tracks by Susan A., Megan P., Sarah A., and Annie H. from the popular ballad band "Susan and The Wreckies." And of course, no compilation album would be complete without the greatest hits of top rocker hair band, "Possum Wreck Slashers," with vocal styling from Jessica E., Amanda H., and Rachel C. Rock on!!

Saturday
Nov062010

The Beefy Toad

Does your frog need to jog? Does your newt need some gluts? Is your salamander... getting fat? Then hop them over to the Beefy Toad Gym, and take a leap into fitness!

 

Here at the Beefy Toad, we host extensive aerobics classes to keep those frog legs moving...

 

...no matter how many there are.


Your toad will be dizzy with excitement over our top-of-the-line equipment.

 

 

He'll really dig'em.


The Beefy Toad offers personal trainers, too, so you're sure to get the most groans for your greenbacks!

 

 

"Ok! So! [clapping] We focus the first six months on arms, then we move on to legs!!"

 

 

Plus we serve premium low-calorie insects, worms, and snails at our snack bar!

 

 

"Wait. There's gym equipment here, too?"

 

 

At the Beefy Toad Gym, we'll turn your puny pet...


...into a fabulously fit amphibian!

All in just a few short weeks!
So hop your frog on over to our pad, before he croaks. Better hurry; time flies!

 

 

Hey, Keith R., Jacquie G., Meredith, Terri C., Marisa H., and Emily H., if you tell them Jeremiah sent you, you get your first visit free!

 

 

------------------------------------

Congrats to our final give-away winners, carandavis, musikartlvr, Canadian Emily and ::miss m::, and also our Facebook winners, Alissa Kuizinas Carscallen & JayJay Stroup! Please e-mail us your mailing addresses, guys.

 

And for those of you who didn't win, you could always buy one of my two sizes of Cake Wrecks 2011 wall calendars currently in stores and online. [eyebrow waggle] There's a mini and a large, 52-week version that's pretty spiffy looking, if I do say so myself.


Also, don't forget that the book is a hardcover with more than 75% all-new content, and at $12.95 or less, it makes an excellent cheap gift. You should really stock up. [more eyebrow waggling]

Oh, and if you'd like your book personalized, I have bookplates available on our Stuff page.

This concludes my bi-annual bout of shameless self-promotion. My publisher and I thank you for your support. ;)