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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (569)

Wednesday
Apr302014

Painfully Honest Cakes

Remember, kids, if you can't say anything nice...

...say it with cake.

 

Today is National Honesty Day, but before you go dropping those truth bombs, let's take a look at some ways you can be completely honest but still somewhat polite:

And my personal favorite:

Only works with Angelas, though.

I just realized if you read those three together, you get a short poem:

"You are tolerable.
You are slightly above average.
You are Angela."

I like it.

 

If you can be a little more effusive, there's also this option for a completely honest compliment:

"And hey, I mean that."

 

But let's be honest: 99% of the people you know are total jerkfaces, and the only reason we say nice things on their cakes is because it's their birthday and we want cake.

So here's a compromise: start with "happy birthday," and then throw in a little truth:

Boom.

 

See, the exclamation mark makes it chipper!

 

The misspelling will confuse everyone long enough for us to make a run for it.

 

If you'd rather avoid all that conflict, though, then how about a general statement that everyone can agree on?

TRUTH.

 

Thanks to Nichelle O., Gina G., Kristin S., Kitzy C., Joan A., Sarah C., Liz M., Doug K., & Michele D. for spouting off.

*****

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Monday
Apr282014

Confessions Of A Master Baker

Welcome to another installment of...

Confessions of a Master Baker!
"Ordinary bakers. Extraordinary feats of bad judgment."


[baker's silhouette speaking in disguised voice]
"I guess I got a bit carried away with the chocolate drizzle -- you know, it's always a bit of a crap shoot..."

"I made my mother-in-law deliver it."

 

[whispered] Confessions...

 

"...and then I found myself smashing a disco ball on top of it."

 

[small sob] "I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!"

 

[whispered] Revelations...

 

"They loved skiing. Nothing says 'skiing' like giant plastic pickles and shredded Parmesan, right?" [hiccups]

"I didn't realize how bad it was 'til the bride threw it at me."

 

[whispered] Disclosures...

 

"They said they wanted 'steampunk,' so I googled it. Gears, tentacles, balloons - I was all, 'Hey, I got this.'"

"And, boy, did I get it."

 

[sound of pages flipping]
Uh...
ah!
[whispering] Formal professions of guilt...

 

"So then I said, 'hey, you know what'd be cute? Camouflage butterflies."

"But the bride just didn't see it."

 

Next week... on Confessions of a Master Baker:

"So I figured, put the babies ON the carrots..."

[light behind figures fades to black]

 

Thanks to Jessica W., Michelle B., Melanie J., Stella P., & Natalie S. for the delicious divulgences.

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