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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (408)

Tuesday
Nov222011

Wrecking Dawn

I realize many of you aren't up to date with the Twilight series, but don't worry: I'm here for you.

Besides, according to Wikipedia this latest installment of sparkly vampires and shirt-o-phobic werewolves is really just your basic story of love, marriage, childbirth, and C-sections performed with teeth.

Aren't you glad I went with "teeth" instead of "C-section?"

No?

Oh. Ok. Here ya go:

Um...There's a sucker born every minute?

 

A few more things you need to know about Twilight:

1. Vampires "sparkle" in almost exactly the way this cake doesn't.

 

Werewolves, on the other hand...

They glisten.

 

2. Vampire family trees are really complicated...

...but are perfect for celebrating a 6-year-old's birthday.

 

3. The red thing is an apple.

Or a tomato, in case you hate the movie.

 

4. If you're a vampire, then this is a pick-up line:

If not, then no amount of body glitter will help you. Sorry, fellas. (Besides, I'm pretty sure the pink plastic fangs would be a dead giveaway.)

 

Thanks to wreckporters Cathy B., Heidi D., Kate B., Christopher L., Anony M., Hayley & Hillary, & Jill M. for today's stake-out.

 

Hey Orlando!  We'll see you tonight at 7pm for our last show.  WOOHOO!!!

Monday
Nov142011

How To Be Popular On The Internet

Today we're going to talk about what makes a successful blog post. Remember, it is very important to follow these instructions carefully, or else trolls may never find you and tell you how stupid you are.

 

Step 1:

Start with boobs.

Because an internet without boobs is like fingers without bones: Horrifying.

 

Step 2:

Add adorable animals, like:

Kittens...

Bunnies...

And, of course, monkeys...

...with boobs.

 

Now that you've captured the attention of your audience, it's time to talk about something important and life changing.

You know, like Kim Kardashian's divorce:

 

And don't forget to sprinkle in a generous helping of "hip slang" for your peeps, yo!

"J... J... Jammin' on the one."

 

Finally, once you've wowed your audience with your insightful wisdom, it's time to leave them wanting more. If you have more boobs, now would be a good time to use them.

Unless they look like that.

 

If not, you can always say something about Justin Beiber:

Because love him or hate him, he is the internet.


That and boobs.

 

Thanks to Kristen M., Christina E., Kara A., Bethany M., Sarah H., Jill H., Zoe B., and Anony M., who would NEVER marry for a TV show or for money. Uh...right, guys?