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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (416)

Thursday
Jan192012

I Got Your Back, PA

An Open Letter to the Internet from the Residents of Southern Pennsylvania

 

Dear Internet,

What did we ever do to you?

We are a region of good, decent, hard-working Americans and prized rutabaga growers* who always try to do right by our fellow man.

And how do you repay us? By staging protests! By telling the government to shelve us! By blocking our favorite cute cat picture websites with big "STOP SOPA" signs!

It's enough to make us think you don't like the area with the world's most colorful collection of soap shavings.*

Motto*: "It's good clean fun!"

 

Did you know your underwear was probably made with cotton from OUR* cotton fields?

 

 

And did you know that our official* tri-county* flower*, the Dryerious Lintitude*, has been hailed* by the scientific community* as a "marvel of nature?"*

That's right: a MARVEL OF NATURE*. Just try and stop THAT, internet.

 

Look, we SOPA residents are reasonable people. We don't want to hold a grudge over some obvious misunderstanding - and already you've given us a hip new acronym for next year's tourism brochures!

So what do you say we start fresh? We'll forget this whole "down with SOPA" business, and YOU can come visit the birthplace of Hannah Montana*!

It's a win-win!

 

*Sorry, Wikipedia was down yesterday.

Thanks to Michael S., Justin D., Anna D., & Karyn D. for helping me drag out a joke for five whole wrecks. Next I'll be writing** a letter on behalf of People In Pennsylvania - stay tuned!

**Just kidding. I'll make John do it.

Friday
Jan062012

The Farce is Strong With This One

We interrupt your Friday wreckage to bring you this special report:


BELGIANS ATTEMPT PLANET-WIDE "FORCE CHOKE"

Yes, a Belgian burger joint has recently debuted the questionably spelled "Dark Vador Burger," simultaneously offending grammar nazis, fanboys, and taste buds everywhere.

Since it appears this Fan Tum Menace uses a large charcoal briquette for a bun, we decided to hit the local Jabba Jamba Hut for a few "Han-on-the-street" reactions:

 

"That's no moon. Luke, use the forks!" - Ben Kenobi, Krayt Caller

"I have a very bad feeling about this." - Luke Skywalker, Incessant Whiner

"These are NOT the buns you're looking for." - Princess Leia, Princess

"Look's kind of Chewie to me. One thing's for sure, we're all gonna be a lot thinner!" - Han Solo, Shot First

 

The Jedi Council could not be reached for comment, but we did receive this automated voicemail:

"It's a TRAP!" - Admiral Ackbar, One Hit Wonder

 

The Imperial Empire also weighed in with this e-mail from Darth Vader, Sith Lord:

"Come to the dark side. We have charcoal. HAHAH!! But seriously, I find your lack of taste....disturbing. And did you see they misspelled my name? I mean, SERIOUSLY."

 

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Update: I'm relieved to see so many people have grasped my true objective in this post, which was to start a debate over whether the burger chain in question is actually Belgian or French. Bravo! You've passed the test, and may now commence commenting on Youtube videos.

At any rate, the Yahoo article I referenced claims it's Belgian, so my sincere apologies if it is, in fact, French.

Also, according to the latest Epcot Threat Level Report the French translation of Darth Vader is actually "Dark Vader," although you have to say it with a French accent. There are also a lot of footnotes about "Vader" meaning "father" and copyright stuff and whether or not black bread tastes good, but by that point I was distracted by something shiny and lost interest. You can read it all for yourselves in the comments here and on Facebook, though, on the off chance you've misplaced your cattle prods and need to punish yourself for something.

Well, I think that's everything! Have a fantabulous weekend, everyone, and may the Farce be with you...ALWAYS.

- Jen