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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (367)

Thursday
Dec162010

The 12 Wrecks Of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A choking hazard in a treeeee.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Two buttered bells,
And a choking hazard in a tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Three whipped ghosts,
(And by "whipped," I mean they do what their wives tell them)
Two buttered bells,
And a study on the Heimlich for me.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Four day-glo Santas,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a bunch of crap in a gross tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

♪ Fiiiiiiiive molded 'shrooms! ♪
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a lot of flotsam in a gross tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Six pounds of icing,
♪ Fiiiiive fungusesssses! ♪
Four day-glo Santas,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And seriously, did you see all the stuff in that tree?

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪ Fiiiiive Penicillin-bearing spores!! ♪ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a plastic coated nasty icing tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Eight runny egg yolks,
(WHY?!?)
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪♫ Fiiiiive molded hallucinogenics!! ♪ ♫ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And is anyone even still reading this?

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Nine kiwis riding... reindeer? Swans? Thestrals?
Eight I-think-he-hates-me,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Eleven candy canes that kinda look like Slimey the Worm,

See?

Ten piles of nothing (You FORGOT?!),

Nine kiwis riding,
Eight runny egg yolks,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Thirteen TWELVE fake flowers,
Eleven Slimey Canes,
Ten lots a' nothing,
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫♭♫ ♬ ♪♫♭♫♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiiive SUPER fun guys!!! ♪ ♫♭♩♫♩♫ ♬ ♬ ♭♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!

Thanks to Michelle, Amanda C., Kyle C., Cheyanne, Joel S., Georgia T., Erin T., Monica K., NWM, Monica B., Jana S., & Jon D., who have been counting down the days 'til they could endorse a fine product like the 2011 Cake Wrecks Wall Calendar. [nodding earnestly] It's true. Take my word for it. No need to ask any of them. Or even check to see if they are, in fact, real people.

-------------------------------------------------

CCC Day #4


Best Friends Animal Society operates the nation's largest sanctuary for abused and abandoned animals, from cats and dogs to rabbits and horses. Their mission is to create a world with no more homeless pets. Period.

Click here to donate your dollar!

Thursday
Dec092010

Star Wars: The Next Generation

Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!

This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?

Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.

Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.

 

("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])

 

 

Skywalter has to save the beautiful Princess Leia from the evil grip of Dark Vader and his Terminators:

"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."

 

 

In order to get past all of the Cylons, Skywalter makes some friends with magical powers:

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.

 

 

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man follow Luke to the planet Vogon. There they find a short psychic Muppet in a swamp:

 

 

Slimer.


Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.

 

 

But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.


Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:

 

 

Accio pixie power!!

 

But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.

 

Then Luke, Slimer, CP30, RD2D, Scully, Mulder, and Superman all run to rescue the beautiful Princess Leia a third time, and she proclaims her love for Luke:

And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.

 

THE END

 

Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.

 


UPDATE from Jen:
Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!