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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (462)

Wednesday
Nov072012

WE'RE DOOMED

[NOTE: In an effort to be more efficient/lazy, I may have written this post last week. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell, though, so forget I even mentioned it.]

 

My dear wreckies, the end is officially nigh. In fact, I think it's safe to say that the end has never been MORE nigh than it is at this very moment. It is a moment FULL OF END NIGH-NESS.

With President [insert winner's name here] in office, our country will soon be nothing but a moldering pile of Taco Bell wrappers and Snookie CDs. The seas will boil over. The sun will burn. The stars will do crazy loop deloops, but, like, in a really bad way.

Frogs will rise up from ponds everywhere and hippity-hop all over our lawns.

 

And then they'll eat our daisies.

OUR DAISIES!!

 

All birthdays will be cancelled, and replaced with "buttdays."

 

Our new national flag will be a giant flip-flop...STOMPING ON AN AMERICAN HEART.

 

And perhaps most terrifying of all: a legion of lop-sided zombie Barbie cakes will slide menacingly onward, the better to consume our very souls:

Yes, my friends, with the inevitable campaign of doom and destruction heralded by President [insert winner's name here], our only hope can now be in hunkering down with enormous cases of peanut butter while we await the apocalyptic....uh...hang on...

Did someone seriously make a WEDDING CAKE out of WHOOPIE PIES??

Best. Idea. EVER.

 

 Ok, never mind that other stuff. We're good.

 

Thanks to  Susan F., Debbie A., Anony M., Alexandra, & Gregory H. for putting things back in their proper perspective. Peace, love, and whoopie pies, baby. Awww yeeeaah.

Tuesday
Oct302012

Halloween Tips

Tomorrow's the big day, people, so before you hit the streets to go trick-or-treating, here are some useful "guidelines" for having a safe and scream-worthy night:

Never accept rides from strangers. 

Especially if you see fingers hanging out of the trunk.

 

 Wear reflective clothing:

Or just something so unbelievably hideous that people won't be able to NOT notice you. You know, like Crocs and a Speedo. (As a bonus: EVERYONE will want your picture!)

 

Watch out for roving gangs of lower-case Ms:

They're vicious this time of year. VICIOUS.

 

If you're trying to scare someone, don't yell "Boo!" It's not scary enough. 

Instead yell, "SCARY BOO!"

 It also helps if you can throw spiders on them.

 

Never assume you know what someone's costume is. 

 One person's Elvis is another's Dracula, and you really don't need that kind of awkwardness.

"I vant choo to stay off of my blue svade shoos! Muah! Ah! Ah!"

 

ALWAYS SAY "THANK YOU."

Even if they give you crap candy like generic lollipops and little bags of candy corn*:

*Actual candy we will be giving out on Halloween. Plus little boxes of Milk Duds. Y'all come by, y'hear?

 

And try to look grateful when you're saying "thank you," too -  not like this:

"This is my happy face."

 

Lastly, and mostly importantly...

BEWARE THE TOILET PAPER TERROR:

 He also goes by "The Spirit of Gasses Past."

 

Thanks to Carly T.,  Leah K., Catherine S., Chryss A., Kris D., Chris B., Brianna M., Denil B., & Jennifer G. for really wiping the floor with these wrecks.