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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (486)

Tuesday
Mar122013

Whistle While You Hurk

Sometimes cake shopping is like being stuck in a Fractured Fairy Tale.

Like Snow White, you set out hoping for something "charming," but in the light of day you find yourself stuck with the second string dwarves.

 

There's Creepy:

Made by the incredibly talented Sarah Jones


"I dare you to cut me."

 

Queasy:

"I can't believe I ate ITS WHOLE WING."

 

Crazy:

"WOOLOOLOOOLALALAAAAAAAA!!"

 

Drippy:

(Queasy's second cousin)

 

 

Hairy:

She's planning on using your birthday candles for a waxing later.

 

Horny:

"Because I have horns, you see. And I'm really Randy.

"(It's short for Randolph. Horny is my ... [sunglasses] ... MIDDLE NAME.)"

 

And of course, that old favorite:

.doc

 

Thanks to Stacey, Kimberly C., Carly G., Rachel K., Anony M., Bob B., & Jessica C., who know a picture is worth a thousand words - or in this case, one printable image file.

Thursday
Mar072013

STAND BACK! I'm About To Make Some Cutting Remarks

I'm sure many of you heard the news yesterday about a Dad finding a paring knife in his young son's birthday cake from Wal-Mart.

 I know, right?!

Fortunately no one was hurt or anything; the family just found the small knife sandwiched between the cake and cakeboard after cutting in a few slices.

Still, this story caught my attention for a few reasons:

1) It involves cake

2) It happened in John's home town of Lewiston, Maine, AKA the place no one has ever heard of 'til now, and I bet the Lewistonians are SO happy that THIS is what's finally put them on the map.

3) Back in 2010 I featured Amy L's cake which had a pair of scissors embedded in it, and THAT never captured national attention:

Maybe it's because Amy didn't think to take a picture before pulling the scissors out of the cake. Or maybe it's because she didn't think to call in the local news crews and start giving interviews on how traumatizing the discovery was.

“People started leaving and the family was pretty upset,” the father, Nathan Bibeau, said. “We’re not ever going to get that second birthday back ever, you know?” (That is an actual quote. I am not making this up.)

Then the father bit his lip and stared despairingly off into the distance while a single tear tracked its way down his excessively traumatized cheek. (Ok, maybe I made that part up.) (OR DID I?)


Anyway, as is the American way, Mr. Bibeau graciously accepted both Wal-Mart's apology and refund and said he was just glad that no one was hurt hired a lawyer.

But that's not the funny part. The FUNNY part is how Wal-Mart has decided to prevent this kind of thing from happening in the future:

They've banned the use of that particular paring knife in all of their bakeries.

 

Yes, really.

Gosh, next they'll be banning customers from taking pictures of their cakes in order to avoid ending up here on Cake Wrecks! Hah!

Anyway, on the very real chance that Mr. Bibeau ends up a millionaire because of this, well first, KILL ME NOW, but second, I'll soon be representing Kaitlin A. in her legal case, because, look! TRAUMATIC SCISSORS!!

 

These were sealed inside the box with the birthday girl's cake, and though she hasn't admitted it yet, I think the shock and trauma have ensured that Kaitlin will never work again. Someone has to pay for that, you guys. And someone has to pay my reasonable 15% representation fee.

I'm also in talks with Stephanie J., because...TRAUMATIC SPOON!!

 

And Xela G. will never get that work anniversary back after finding this life-threateningly stabby TRAUMATIC FORK!!

Never EVER.

 

And finally, I'd ask you all to respect Laura C. in her time of healing, because... TRAUMATIC BIEBER!!

 I'm negotiating the exclusive interview on this myself, TV peeps. And I like whoopie pies. Just sayin'.



Thanks to Caitlin C.,  Rachel S., & Jessica B. for today's traumas, and to Sam's Pizza in Lewiston, Maine, for being the first place to introduce me to whoopie pies. AWWW YEEEAH. (And your pizza's pretty rockin', too.)