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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (492)

Tuesday
Apr092013

GoT Cakes?

Good news! After all the hype and anticipation, the third season of "Game of Thrones" has finally started!

Now, while I've never actually watched any episodes, I have seen several thousand Facebook posts, millions of Twitter swoons, and a well-placed "Saturday Night Live" skit -- plus I was behind a very enthusiastic guy who was discussing it loudly and in excruciating detail on a cell phone once while I waited for a bagel. 

I think we can agree this makes me an expert.

I'd like to share my newfound expertise with you, so you can jump right into season three if -- like me -- you're a little behind.

[innocent whistling]

So, apparently the show is a fantasy in a medieval setting, so expect to see a lot of crumbly-looking castles:

That moat really needs to be filled with coffee.

 

The story seems to center around a bunch of burly guys in armor, furs, and funky headgear, all wielding a variety of nasty, big, pointy teeth weapons:

Like this, only with dingier tank tops.

 

The nomads -- they're the ones in the furs -- also have their own language. Fortunately, they get subtitles:

... in Esperanto.

["Hark. Methinks mine codpiece doth chafe!"]

 

All these guys are fighting to gain control of a throne that apparently needs ironing:

Not to mention a good dousing of Ye Olde Febreeze. 

 

There's also Lady Daenerys, an ambitious blonde with webbed feet and a penchant for blood-letting.

At this point even I don't know which parts I'm making up anymore.

 

 Oh, and I almost forgot to mention all the sex and nudity!

Apparently there's a LOT of it, which gets some people bent out of shape.

Take that any way you want.

 

"Game of Thrones" is also supposed to be pretty violent. I can't say for certain, of course, but there are a lot of parodies featuring decapitation.

I think these are the nomads.

 

So to recap: A bunch of hairy, burly guys and an intense girl are all fighting over a piece of uncomfortable furniture while having sex and cutting people's heads off.

Huh.

 

"Game of Thrones" sounds an awful lot like "Medieval Divorce Court."

I should totally be watching this thing!


Epic thanks to Nicole E., Erin C., Kimberly C., Christina T., Julie B., Ingrid H., Liz D., Misty T., Brianne P., Christina B., and all you GoT fans out there who know I sometimes write fantasy. Now, please, put the swords down...
Tuesday
Apr022013

Cindy Has a Ball

Once Upon a Time ...

There was a girl named Cindy:

She was as sweet as 14 pounds of frosting.

 

She lived with her wicked stepmother and stepsisters - who, I have to say, were a couple of dogs:

Cindy spent her days cleaning up after her step family, but she always hoped for a better life.

 

One day, excitement gripped the land: Prince Dream was looking for a wife!

The parties at his pad were always hopping, but he wanted to settle down with someone before he croaked.

So the Prince invited all the girls of the kingdom to play ball:

Although his froggy dyslexia led to a minor scandal in the papers.

 

When Cindy told her step family she planned to go, they sneered,

"What do YOU know about playing ball?"

Disheartened, Cindy was about to give up, when suddenly:

Her Fairly Odd Mother appeared!

The Fairly Odd Mother arranged for Cindy to have a coach:

He had experience with all kinds of balls.

On the day of the game, Cindy snuck out to play. Her coaching paid off, and she dazzled the prince!

Sadly, before she could meet him, Cindy's stepmother dragged her home. All the heartbroken prince could find was one of her hideous flip-flops:

He vowed then and there to find the foot that fit the flip-flop, and then buy it more appropriate footwear for sports.

Fortunately the Prince remembered Cindy's distinctive toenail fungus, and found her that same afternoon in the foot-care aisle at Target!

Their love bloomed in front of the bunion cream, and they were married that very day.

As the prince struggled to carry her off to his castle, everyone agreed that Cindy had never looked happier:

THE END.

 

Enchanted thanks to Olyvia S., Becca M; Sarah C., Shaina H., Iny, Kathleen C., Megan J., Leslie S., and Anony M., who helped make all our wrecks come true.

 

Note from Jen: For instant lolz, repeat after me: "Find the foot that fit the flip-flop. Find the foot that fit the flip-flop. FIND THE FOOT THAT FIT THE FLIP-FLOP."