Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (484)

Wednesday
Feb062013

Dump Week

It's National Dump Your Significant Jerk Week, or as I like to call it, Dump Week. That's right, folks, it's time to get out now before you have to spend another Valentines' Day shelling out the dough for over-priced chocolates and stuffed animals!

And really, what better way is there to end a romantic entanglement than with CAKE?

 

Now your ex can drown his sorrows in beer and buttercream. Unless he's out of beer. Or hates cake. In which case, this cake is PERFECT.

 

For some reason I get this one a lot. You know, from you readers. It's usually followed by a "I promise I'm not a stalker," and a request for my home address. (No joke.)

 

If you prefer a more subtle route, there's also this option:

  "Allow me to point out that the arrow pointing to the representation of the amount of my love is actually larger than the representation of the amount of my actual love. 

"If you're not getting this, I've also prepared a pie chart. On a pie."

 

Then there are all the old standbys:

The Outraged:

 

 The Relieved:

 

The Psychopath:

 

But for my money, I'll always prefer good old fashioned crazy:

If I find a jam filling, I am OUTTA HERE.

 

Thanks to Sarah H., Kjaere, Lesley M., Birdy, Olivia C., and Erin W., who will always hold a special place in my heart, and we'll always be friends, but I'm at a really complicated place right now and just need some time to think about who I am, you know?

Monday
Jan282013

How To Turn A Lazy Sunday Afternoon Into Monday's Post

It's Sunday right now where I am, which is to say in the past, since obviously you're reading this in the future, which is to say on Monday. Or maybe even later than Monday, since maybe you only check Cake Wrecks a few times a week, so it could be, like, WEDNESDAY or something right now.

Let me start again.

It's Sunday right now where I am, and John won't get off the Xbox so I can play Epic Mickey 2, so instead I'm sitting here tweeting about how I should be working. Then I realized: hey, if I'm writing, that IS working! Because that's how being a prefessional blogger works: 1) you write, 2) people read, 3) ??, 4) PROFIT.

Of course, at some point I'm going to have to throw in a picture of a funny cake, because I know how you people get if I yammer on too long without pictures of funny cakes. (PRO TIP: All readers enjoy being referred to as "you people.")

Let's see....Oh, ok, here's an idea: I'll just share whatever random thoughts come into my head, and then I'll illustrate them with cake. What could go wrong? {HILARIOUS FORESHADOWING}

Here goes.

I really like the colors cherry red and chocolate brown together. Or maybe I'm just in the mood for cherry chocolate cake. DISCUSS.

Ok, you can stop discussing it now. The mood has officially passed.

 

I have one of those page-a-day desk calendars on my desk, and it's a week out of date, because I keep forgetting to rip off a page-a-day. I bet this cake is exactly like that, only in reverse:

(Don't over think it. Trust me, I don't.)

 

While I was getting that cake I found this next one, and I have to say: I am convinced you guys do this to me on purpose, because you KNOW it makes me crazy dizzy:

HOW DID THE CAKE GET STUCK TO THE CEIL - oh.

So...dizzy...brain...cannot...compute.... Seriously, wreckporters, hat tip for getting the shot and all, but is it REALLY so hard to WALK AROUND THE TABLE and take the picture from there? Is it? I bet even Aggie #4 would know to do that!

 

And since I've started some kind of number theme here, check out what Meg W. found on a school website:

Ah, our future generations are in good hands. WHAT A RELIEF.

 

But enough about Meg and our future. Let's get back to me, and how John is still - STILL - on the Xbox.

I have a special place in my heart for bakers who make sculpted grooms' cakes of things they not only have never seen, but also don't even care enough about to find any kind of reference photo. "Oh, it's a box? Called the 'Xbox 360 Live'? And this is the game it plays? GOT IT."

(One might wonder why the controller almost looks like a controller, but that would mean one was over-thinking it. STOP THAT, ONE.)

 

Honestly, I'm not sure why I even WANT to play Epic Mickey 2 anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong; it has the advantage over the first game in that you can actually, you know, move. (TRUE FACT: Epic Mickey 1 didn't need enemies; you just fought the controls the whole time. [Oh snap!]) But the game is just not good. And yet I keep playing, because the concept is so cool that it has to GET good at some point, right? [INSERT OBSERVATION ON LIFE HERE]

(If you haven't heard of it, Epic Mickey uses a post-apocalyptic Disney World kind of setting, and all the characters are creepy and broken and deformed and man this is just too easy:

"Ooh HOO! Keep running around doing confusing, repetitive tasks in giant trash heaps while Cary Elwes narrates the massively overly-complicated plot lines, ok? Ha-yuck!"

Yep, it's just not good, I'm telling you. It's frustrating and uneven and bewildering and...what's that? John's taking a break for lunch? YAY I GET TO PLAY EPIC MICKEY 2 SOME MORE!!

 

Thanks to Megan W., Vivian G., Jamis, Meg W., Jill F., & Jenna S. for understanding that sometimes you just have to have a one-sided relationship with a video game.