My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (461)


The Presidential Pastry Debate

Below is an excerpt from last night's debate between current cake commissioner Rex M. Mall and his challenger, Ida Eatondat. 

Mall: "Ladies and gentlemen, my opponent would have you believe she's rooting for the common baker, but I tell you the word 'congratulations' isn't even in her vocabulary.

"And she's also terrible with apostrophes."


Eatondat: "Don't let Mr. Mall distract you with hearsay, my friends. We all know he's in the pocket of Big Frosting."

"In fact, my recent investigation has proven that his new line of 'iced shakes' are, in fact, solid Buttercream icing."


Mall: "Hey, at least my product is edible. How long did you work for the Plastic Flotsam Corporation, again, Ida?"

Eatondat: "That was years ago! I was young! And most customers knew not to eat the plastic! Plus technically I was never convicted."


Moderator: "Yes, let's try to keep it civil, candidates, plea..."

 Mall: "Oh yeah? Well, SHE EATS BABIES!"


 Eatondat: "Only half of one! And just at that one shower! Besides... uh... [pointing at Mall] HE MAKES CUPCAKE CAKES!"

 [audible gasps from the audience]


Eatondat: "That's right, LOTS of cupcake cakes! With airbrushing! And curly ribbon! And this one is supposed to be a guitar!"

[several audience members faint]

 Moderator: "Do you have anything to say for yourself, Mr. Mall?"


Mall: "Yes. I'm Batman."

Moderator: "That says you're the 6th Jeffery."



Thanks to Janet P., Candice H., Gabby G., Marianne W., Autumn R., Ed H., & Anony S., who only wish last night's debate had been this entertaining.


October is Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month

Hi, my name is john, and I'm a caffeine-oholic. It's been 4 months since my last 2-liter of Diet Mountain Dew, and today I feel so much bett...zzzZZZZzzz.

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh.

Well, um, aside from sleeping most of the time, I feel like a million bucks. Plus the jitters and facial tics are almost gone!

So today, I'd like to encourage some of you bakers out there to also give up the sauce, since it's obviously affecting your work:


Some of you might remember the great Jolt Epidemic of 1996.

Those were dark times.


Now, I know what you're thinking: "How am I [twitch] going to [twitch] finish all these %&;$#! cakes if I don't have my morning cocktail of Red Bull and Turkish coffee with a NoDoz chaser?! [twitchtwitchtwitch]"


 Well, I'm not gonna lie: it'll be hard at first. You may find yourself nodding off every now and then. Or every five seconds.


But with time you'll find you can stand still again without registering a 4.8 on the Richter scale:


And you'll soon feel clear-headed enough to yell intelligible curses at the customers who ask for a Hunger Games cake with fewer spills on it:


And then - THEN - you can finally get back to misspelling things legibly again.


Oh, joy.


Thanks to Anony M., Gabrielle S., Joe V., Kerri E., Katherine L., Amy S., Jr M., and Joy S. for the buzz kills.