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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (326)

Tuesday
Jul142009

Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat?

Attn parents: the last photo in today's post is not appropriate for the little ones.

So you're making a Doritos-run to your local grocery store, and you see this:

And for some reason many of you are convinced by this chipped, yellowing, choking-hazard of a cake that photo cakes are a "grrrr-reat!" idea. So you run home, rifle through the blackmail folder, and order up gems like these:

And when you combine embarrassing candids with the "skill" of a seasoned Wreckerator, you can achieve a level of Wreckage never before imagined by the culinary world.

Your job: find the creepiest photo of the birthday girl possible - swirling light vortex and glowing red eyes a plus.

Wreckerator's job: place photo off-center and try to use up all this extra orange icing.

(the orange is on the bottom border)

Great job, team!

Or here's an idea:

Hand out little tubes of icing and invite guests to black out teeth, draw on mustaches, etc. That'll make the birthday girl feel special.

Here's an option for you creative types:

Photoshop: lending the honky some jammin' style since 1984.

Photo cakes are also a great way to remind friends what happened during their last black out:


Or why their new nickname is "the dragon":

Ah, cameras and alcohol: a match made in Cake Wrecks heaven.

Thanks to Mangycat, Bridgett, A Nony Mouse, Emma M., Rachel B., Julie C., and Kimberly E. Remember: what happens in Vegas, gets on Cake Wrecks!

- Related Wreckage: Breaking News: Head-Swelling Bakery Incident Goes Horribly Awry

Wednesday
Jul012009

Considering the Uterus

Warning: Impending TMI of a medical nature. (In case the title didn't already clue you in.)

Tomorrow I will have the dubious pleasure of having the insides of my uterus cauterized. In honor of the occasion, we could take a look at the uterus in all its glory and learn from the wonders of the human body.

OR...

We could take a look at what other women order when they get their lady-bits worked on. After all, I could use a little inspiration.

(Yeah, I like option "B" better, too.)

This woman nicknamed her baby bag "Tilly", and then ordered it a farewell cake, like so:


Hm. Not a bad idea, really. Of course, coming up with just the right nickname for your internal organs can be a mixed bag - er, no pun intended. Plus, I'd have to give mine a guy's name, since I refuse to believe any female would inflict such horrors on another. So...The McCramper? Sweeney Todd? Sir-Clumps-A-Lot? I'm open to suggestions, obviously.

Elizabeth made this nifty Operation cake for her mom, who was feeling kinda down about an impending hysterectomy:

Elizabeth writes, "My friends said I should have made a driver's license with her picture and changed the F to an M, but since I didn't want her to kill herself, I just made this."

Good call, Elizabeth. Having the cake recipient collapse in a sobbing heap can be such a killjoy. Far better to take the more chipper, Pollyanna-ish route:

Although there is the possibility that wishing someone a "happy" hysterectomy could lead to a different kind of meltdown: Anyone remember Wendi Aaron's famous "Happy Period" rant at Always maxi pads? If not, and you don't mind a little language, you should check it out.

Here's my favorite line:

"...there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and KahlĂșa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory."

Ah, which of us hasn't been there, eh, ladies? Or are there right now? ("Husband!! Bring me more Kahlua!!")

Some women obviously have a better relationship with their bits than I do, though:

Friends? Friends?!?
("Husband!! I mean it!!")


Now granted, I'm not having Sir-Clumps-A-Lot removed tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I'm any less apprehensive about the anesthesia and the whole, you know, cauterizing thing. So if any of you have some spare well wishes to send my way, the doctor's way, the Almighty's way, etc., I'd sure appreciate it.


Oh, and for the most realistic-looking (ie shiiiny) uterus cake yet, check out Debbie's here.

Thanks to Wreckporter Hall-of-Famer Monique R. for finding the last three.


UPDATE:
For all of you asking if vasectomy cakes will be next: Been there, done that. :D