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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (569)

Thursday
Feb132014

An Out of This World Valentine's Day

Cakes, the final frontier...

 

Star Fleet Recreation Department -- Matchmaker's Log:

Attempts to celebrate Valentine's Day on the Starship Wrecksurprise have not gone entirely as planned.

The Horta took the pink dye beautifully, but got overexcited when someone fed him too many cookies and burned through 19 decks and the outer hull.

It took over an hour to fix the breach, and three crewmen are still unaccounted for.

(There goes my promotion.)

 

The Andorian lovebugs we imported are super friendly:

...but it turns out they're poisonous, and Dr. McCoy is out of antivenom.

 

On the plus side, I finally convinced Mr. Spock to give Nurse Chapel a Valentine!

She threw a bowl of plomeek soup at him.

Which he claimed was delicious.

 

Personally, I was thrilled when the Tellarite agreed to dress up as Cupid,

...but shaving him clogged the sonic showers, and now I'm confined to quarters.

 

Oh, and the tribbles got into the Valentine's candy and have overrun decks 23-25.

Turns out, chocolate is bad for tribbles.

So now I've got three decks of wired, farting tribbles to contend with.
(I guess I'm kinda glad I'm confined to quarters...)

 

Not to mention the food replicators are on the fritz...

...and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes.

 

On top of everything, Captain Kirk's choice of Valentine for the bridge crew was -- well -- unfortunate.

McCoy's out of antidote for that, too.

So all in all, I think we'll just skip Valentine's Day next year.

 

High commendations to our cake cadets Michelle L., Nic B., Rachel H., MJ S., Maria M., Jen F., Emily N., Veronica R., and Chrispy. May you all Live Long and Prosper -- perhaps by sticking to flowers and candy this Valentine's Day.

*****

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Tuesday
Feb112014

Sochi Z!

Hallo, and welcome to Sochi Z, official bakery of Sochi Olympics!

As you can see, we have spent years preparing for your visit, and have spared literally no expense to make you feel welcome!

(Did I mention it's our RE-Grand Opening?)

(Now with shower curtains!)

(Please do not mind the construction workers. They are only here for lunch break. And to fix foundation. And roof. Maybe little plumbing. But that's IT.)

 

And, look!

We "welcome" you like the "family" you are! Haha!

 

Now, while you are here in our fair city, do watch out for all the open manholes in the street. In fact, just go ahead and drive in the waterways:

Is better that way.

 

Also, we have many packs of roving stray dogs.

DO NOT PET ROVING PACKS OF STRAY DOGS.

They will, how you say... eat your face.

 

Perhaps you've heard stories of the athlete who had to break through the door of his bathroom to escape. Well, never you fear, kotyata, because I am here to tell you: this reminds me of very funny story...

Ahh, those were good times.

Also, do not break bathroom doors. We have you on camera, and we will prosecute. [meaningful glare]

 

Of course you are no doubt here to celebrate the sports and whatnot. We have cakes for those, too!

 

And no worries that OUR Olympic rings won't open; we made extra!

(See all of our Olympic cake specials here!)

 

And finally, to address the many questions we are getting regarding our city's facilities, we here at Sochi Z have made a delicious delicacy to illustrate the Sochi Toilet Operation:

You see? No toilet seat necessary! Now you, too, can poo like American Pooh! Haha! That's Sochi Z!

 

Thanks to Viviano L., Deborah A., Irene J., Tiffany W., Shannon H., Amber, Alison R., Katie H., Beth K., & Stephanie H. for the ringing endorsement.

*****

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