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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (523)

Wednesday
Aug282013

Truth In Advertising

Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how.

 

Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that say, "Hey, we're a modern, 'with-it' bakery that knows just how to relate to today's generation."

"You see, kids, there once was a time when phones had cords on them."

 

You also want cakes that show you take your job seriously:

 

And that your figure modeling is second-to-none:

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS. TAKE US HOME OR WE WILL STUN YOU WITH OUR LASER EYES. JUST KIDDING.
HA. HA. HA."

 

But also some that show you aren't lacking in the crazy department:

"Proud to be the only bakery that offers large chocolate grenades in our 'Peeps VS Bobble-Heads Soccer Match in the Desert of Doom' design - now with random Rugrats!"

 

Jasmine D., Erin F., Lisa M., Sarah N., & Maren J., can you spot the grenade?

Tuesday
Aug272013

AB-Solute Sexiness!

Every now and then I start thinking maybe I should diet. This is because, according to every piece of media everywhere, I am not a man until I have abs. And while I've never seen my abs, I assume they're around here somewhere - possibly hiding under 37 years of extra cheese.

Luckily, I work at Cake Wrecks and so have a handy guide as to what my abs will look like during the dieting process.

First, after losing my initial cheese-ton of weight, I'll probably just have a lot of extra loose skin:

My sexiness will have begun.

 

Then, after hundreds and hundreds of hours in the gym, I will develop the coveted "3 pack:"

"Look into my pectoral eyes, and weep at my chiseled beauty. WEEP, I SAY."

 

Which will soon begin to divide...

...and look mildly shocked at being discovered.

 

Later, after countless thousands more hours in the gym and a steady diet of kale and corn husks, my abs will really start to spread out:

Like Twinkies under a blanket.

Mmmm Twinkies...

 

And finally, after years of neverending, staggering misery, I will be able to bask in the glory of my oh-so-sexy new abs:

Like Brad Pitt, only better.
And a little more lopsided.

[head tilt]

Huh.

You know, on second thought, I think my abs are happy where they are.

Right, guys?

Right.

Now, who wants Twinkies?

 

Thanks to Ashlee, Brandi H., Solveig, Anony M., Stephanie S., & Stephanie A. for presenting their bodies of evidence... and for sharing the snack cakes. [hint hint]