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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (510)

Wednesday
Jun262013

Half-Off Wreckage!

Sometimes the stories you guys send in with your wrecks are so perfect they don't need anything more from me. So, Steph S., take it away!

 

It was my son's "half birthday" and he wanted a cake. Because I'm a modern mother, obviously I said yes, but "just half a cake." So, I went to the bakery and explained the sitch.

"Think you could make me a half a cake?"

"Well, nooo, 'cause then we'd like, have to throw away the other half."

"Well, it'll be special order so you can just make one cake layer, right? And then cut it in half and stack it. Like a layer cake!"

"I don't know what you mean."

{{ repeats previous statements with hand motions }}

"Ok, like, I have no idea what you're wanting here."

"Look, just bake one round cake, cut it in half and stick the two sides together for a layer cake. Makes half a cake."

"I think that'll be really messy."

"Sure. Ok, just... Whatever. Do what you've gotta do."

 

And here is the result:

Thanks to Steph for literally making me screech with laughter. Oh, and for next time: there ARE bakeries who sell half cakes all the time. In fact, some will even write "Happy Birthday" on it first before chopping the thing in half:

See? Now that's service!

****

 

 

[THURSDAY UPDATE: Due to some severe server issues beyond our control, most of you who visited yesterday couldn't actually SEE this post, so we've decided to leave it up an extra day. Rest assured we'll have plenty of fresh new wreckage up tomorrow, though!]

Monday
Jun242013

Good Neighbors

Jen and I live in a... diverse neighborhood. Lots of families, a few older folks, the occasional renter and/or drug dealer. Your basic American street. But my favorite has to be the family that lives a few doors down and entertains us each night at the top of their lungs. So today, I give you:

 

Things I hear while taking out the trash at two in the morning
(I put all the dialogue in extra large bold font to help you really appreciate the experience.)

 

"Put a diaper on that girl, Jimmie!"

 

"BILL! BILL!!! IF WE DON'T LEAVE BY 3AM ALL THE FISH WILL BE GONE!!! BILLLLLL!!!"

 

"PRECIOUS! PREEEE-CIOOOOUS! COME INSIDE. HERE BOY. C'MERE. C'MON. C'MERE. C'MERE, BOY." (Stepping just out of the door and raising voice even more) "PRECIOUS! GET IN HERE NOW!"

 

"You want Cheez-Whiz on your hotdog?"

 

"So I says to her, hey, for two hundred bucks it had gosh durn BETTER be real yak hair."

 

"GOSH DANGIT, MONTU GOT DOWN THE DRAIN AGAIN. CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, BILL!"

 

"NOPE, NEVERMIND; SHE'S JUST OUT IN THE YARD. MONTU, BABY! COME BACK! NO, DON'T GO IN THE NEIGHBOR'S WINDOW! BAD BOA! BAD!!"

 

Thanks to Elena P., Jill T., Lawanda J., Rahman C., Colleen M., Pamela S., & Hannah C. for being neighborly.