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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (484)

Friday
Nov302012

Christmas Blues

I have a problem around this time of year. It's kind of embarrassing, but I'm hoping I'm not the only one. 

It goes like this:

I'll be out shopping somewhere with John, when suddenly:

I'll hear it.

And I'll think, "No, it can't be. They wouldn't play THAT song. Not here! It must be some other song."

Then a few more seconds will go by, and I'll realize:

It IS that song.

They're playing Christmas Shoes.

 

 

So I tell myself I'll just ignore it. I talk to John a little louder. I try humming It's A Small World. But it's no use:

 

I start listening, in spite of myself.

 

And ninety seconds later:

[sobbing] "Buy him the shoes! BUY THE LITTLE BOY THE SHOES FOR HIS DYING MOTHER! AaahhhaaaaHAAA!!"

 

 And my mascara's running everywhere...

 

And the cashier is like:

 

And all the other customers are like:

 

And I turn to John for support, but he's crying, too, so we're BOTH like:

 

And THAT is why I'm never going back to that Honey Baked Ham outlet.

 

Thanks to Hannah F., Kimberly S., Linda M., Anony M., Rachel S.,  Marissa C.,  Jodee R., Kizzie F., & David G. who might claim they don't cry at Christmas Shoes, but if so they're filthy, filthy liars.

And just in case you've never had the pleasure, here it is. BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

 

 

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Currently only $6 on Amazon - that's 60% off! Stock up!

Monday
Nov262012

Wrecks Reel News

[Old-timey news reel music]

Coming to you from Harry's Five and Dime in beautiful downtown Pleasantville, this IS Wrecks Reel News!

The big shopping weekend of '53 saw a slew of seething shoppers descending on local mercantiles, all in hopes of grabbing the deal of the decade!

Just look at them all lining up in a polite and orderly manner:

That's a Jim Dandy sight if I ever saw one!

 

The doors open, and they're off! Tearing through aisles, leaping over downed seniors; these fearless consumers will stop at nothing to get that last Timmy the Train:

And who can blame them? This new and improved model now comes fortified with heart-healthy asbestos! Isn't that swell?

 

What's that? Little Johnny wants a new baseball mitt? Ha ha, that's on aisle 5, ladies!

Boy, oh boy! That mitt's spiffy neat-o swell!

 

Ah, and here comes a satisfied customer now. Let's see how she's enjoying her shopping experi...

"OUT OF MY WAY OR I WILL CUT YOU DEAD."

 

Whoah there, calm down, sweetheart! There's still plenty of time to buy your husband those new golf clubs before you have to make him dinner!

 

And speaking of husbands, this weekend even saw a few men venturing out of their easy chairs to find a little somethin' for their darling dames!

Like high heels:

Great for the gams! Perfect with aprons!

 

And makeup:

Keen for the kisser!

 

And don't forget the Kirby Upright, now weighing in at just 47 pounds!

So much easier to push around in those heels!

And that's all from Pleasantville!

We now return you to Walt Disney's The Story of Menstruation.

This has been Wrecks Reel News, reminding you that every day is a Marlboro day!

 Marlboro: Fresh, clean, and recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors AND your own baby!

via

 

Thanks to Jess, Natalie B., Larissa G., Dani S., Alison, Brittni J., and Mark B. for reminding us that not everything was better in the good ol' days, and also that edible cigarettes are really, really nasty.