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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (365)

Friday
May282010

This Weekend, Pig Out

Since Monday is Memorial Day, I thought you guys might appreciate a few food tips before your weekend get-togethers kick off.

Tip #1: So long as you have beer and bacon, all of your male friends will be happy.

Which is why I, as a girl, think it would be hilarious if you substituted all the beer and bacon with beer and bacon cakes, like this one. Just think how pleased the guys will be at the surprise!

Tip #2: Know your pig.

Calm down; I mean the animal.

Sometimes I think a vegan named these things. "Haha! I will name THIS one 'jowl butt,' so NO ONE will EVER want to eat it! Mwuhahahahaa!

Now, who wants some niiice fresh asparagus?"

Tip #3: Sometimes it helps to channel your inner Freddie.

Ewwww.

Tip #4: Or, if you're like me and subscribe to the "no guts; too gory" philosophy of food, try the all-inclusive cooking method:

Just don't forget the apple.
I don't know why. Just...don't.

Bonus: When you're done, you'll have a lovely centerpiece!


"I see you eating that jowl butt. And, yeah, I'm totally judging you."


Never mind all that, though, because the important thing to remember here is the glory of bacon.


Apparently it even makes 40 better. Although what that has to do with a mountain range at sunset is beyond me.

Julie B., Kellie B., Jade B., Dorota, Monica I., & Melissa C., notice how I didn't say anything about head cheese? Yep. Some lines you just don't cross.

Wednesday
May192010

Cryptic Cross Words

The art of cake insults was first discovered on May 4th, 1957 when a frat boy convinced his mother to write "You really are a FAT cat" on his buddy's birthday cake.

Today, many still attempt this sweet yet snarky tradition - but as these cakes show, few master it.

Ah, the classic "conflicting messages" mistake. Look, you can't tell someone you'll miss her and end with "Up Yours" - it makes no sense! The insult is lost in a sea of well-wishes! Odds are she's going to look at you with big Bambi eyes and ask, "Up my what?"

No, you've really got to commit to the insult. Give it your all!

Oh, come on, this is just embarrassing. "You are not the best" with a "ha-ha" chaser? Oh, gee. BURN.

Look, we're going for amusing yet zingy. Try again.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Er, look, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but this might be going a bit too far. We're aiming for good-natured mockery, not a restraining order. Rein it in a little, eh?

Ok, rule #1 in cake insults: misspellings completely destroy your credibility as critic. (Also applies to pretty much the entire Internet. Stay in school, trolls!)

Although, if you're lucky, sometimes a misspelling will result in an even better insult:

See, now instead of calling him a "geezer" you're insinuating he's incontinent. Score!!


Yep, I'd say the best cake insults are almost always the unintentional ones. (Plausible deniability, baby! Yeah!) So check back on Monday for some of the best whoopsies to ever land a guy on the couch.

Janna, Spencer B., Wendy B., Corie, & Michelle J., I would never insult you guys. Unless I got a cake out of it. Which isn't likely. So, yeah, I would (probably) never insult you guys.