I realize many of you aren't up to date with the Twilight series, but don't worry: I'm here for you.
Besides, according to Wikipedia this latest installment of sparkly vampires and shirt-o-phobic werewolves is really just your basic story of love, marriage, childbirth, and C-sections performed with teeth.
Aren't you glad I went with "teeth" instead of "C-section?"
Oh. Ok. Here ya go:
Um...There's a sucker born every minute?
A few more things you need to know about Twilight:
1. Vampires "sparkle" in almost exactly the way this cake doesn't.
Werewolves, on the other hand...
2. Vampire family trees are really complicated...
...but are perfect for celebrating a 6-year-old's birthday.
3. The red thing is an apple.
Or a tomato, in case you hate the movie.
4. If you're a vampire, then this is a pick-up line:
If not, then no amount of body glitter will help you. Sorry, fellas. (Besides, I'm pretty sure the pink plastic fangs would be a dead giveaway.)
Thanks to wreckporters Cathy B., Heidi D., Kate B., Christopher L., Anony M., Hayley & Hillary, & Jill M. for today's stake-out.
Hey Orlando! We'll see you tonight at 7pm for our last show. WOOHOO!!!