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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (607)

Monday
Apr092018

A Yelp For Help

Most chain bakeries have numbered order books, so you can just write down the code for the design you want.

For example, at this place, if you want a picture of a trophy you write down "SB1."

NAILED IT.

 

Beth S. didn't want any mix-ups, though, so to be EXTRA careful she wrote down the name of the design she wanted, not the number:

 

...which is how Beth ended up with this:

Doggone it.

 

Ok, you're thinking, but surely - SURELY - if you draw an actual diagram of the cake yourself, clearly labeled, this won't happen. Right?

Linsay K. agreed, so she carefully mapped out directions for drawing the Quebec flag on her friend's birthday cake:

She picked the color blue, then used a piece of paper to show the bakers just where to draw the four fleur-de-lis.

 

I think you'll agree, minions, that all of Linsay's hard work really paid off:

Eh?

 

Thanks to Veronica L. Beth S., & Linsay K. for giving me a new fleur-de-lis on life.

*****

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Tuesday
Apr032018

Adowable Widdle Wrecks

Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of puppy...cat eyes?

* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**

**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.

 

This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:

See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")

How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.

*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)

 

Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?

 

Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:

A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)

 

And finally we have what appears to be a cross between a mutant rubber ducky and Angelina Jolie:

Sorry, sorry; I know that's kind of mean. I shouldn't malign rubber duckies like that.

 

Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot: