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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (523)

Wednesday
Nov092016

WE'RE DOOMED

[NOTE: In an effort to be more efficient/lazy, I may have written this post last week. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell, though, so forget I even mentioned it.]

 

My dear wreckies, the end is officially nigh. In fact, I think it's safe to say that the end has never been MORE nigh than it is at this very moment. It is a moment FULL OF END NIGH-NESS.

With President [insert winner's name here] in office, our country will soon be nothing but a moldering pile of Taco Bell wrappers and Apple dongles. The seas will boil over. The sun will burn. The stars will do crazy loop deloops, but, like, in a really bad way.

Frogs will rise up from ponds everywhere and hippity-hop all over our lawns.

 

And then they'll eat our daisies.

OUR DAISIES!!

 

All birthdays will be cancelled, and replaced with "buttdays."

 

Our new national flag will be a giant flip-flop...STOMPING ON AN AMERICAN HEART.

 

And perhaps most terrifying of all: a legion of lop-sided zombie Barbie cakes will slide menacingly onward, the better to consume our very souls:

Yes, my friends, with the inevitable campaign of doom and destruction heralded by President [insert winner's name here], our only hope can now be in hunkering down with enormous cases of peanut butter while we await the apocalyptic....uh...hang on...

Did someone seriously make a WEDDING CAKE out of WHOOPIE PIES??

Best. Idea. EVER.

 

 Ok, never mind that other stuff. We're good.

 

Thanks to  Susan F., Debbie A., Anony M., Alexandra, & Gregory H. for putting things back in their proper perspective. Peace, love, and whoopie pies, baby. Awww yeeeaah.

*****

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Monday
Nov072016

The Politics of Pastry

[The following are paid political advertisements by the candidates for East Paulsbo Bakery Oversight Commissioner, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Cake Wrecks or its affiliates.]

 

Faith. Trust. Pixie dust. These are just a few of the things Ernie Snerdbergler brings to East Paulsbo bakeries. So tomorrow, vote America. Vote for your bakeries. Vote Snerdbergler.

****

 

Mort Furfingdon loves two things: America and East Paulsbo bakeries. If elected, Mort promises to eliminate that sketchy-sounding "pixie dust" and bring back good, old-fashioned sprinkles:

So tomorrow, vote for Mort Furfingdon, East Paulsbo. Because any way you slice it, Mort Furfingdon is top tier.

****

 

Ernie Snerdbergler also loves sprinkles, but won't stoop to bad puns to win your vote, East Paulsbo. That's because Ernie Snerdbergler has integrity. Ernie Snerdbergler has innovation. And Ernie Snerdbergler has free cupcakes for everyone if he's elected.

****

 

Mort Furfingdon will ALSO give you free cupcakes, East Paulsbo, not just the icing on top like that other guy, who is totally stingy.

Also, did you know Mort's opponent hates grandmothers?

It's true.

So tomorrow, think of your grandma, East Paulsbo. Vote for Mort Furfingdon.

****

 

MORT FURFINGDON IS A FILTHY LIAR.
He also colludes with Satan and has a weird foot thing.

Do you want a guy with a weird foot thing overseeing your bakeries, East Paulsbo? I didn't think so. VOTE SNERDBERGLER.

****

 

Ernie Snerdbergler is actually the devil. He kicks the seat in front of him on airplanes and thinks Val Kilmer was the best Batman.

With him in charge, our bakeries will burn, your children will become drug addicts, and life as we know it WILL END.

VOTE FURFINGDON.

****

:: The East Paulsbo Gazette interrupts these campaign commercials to ask both candidates to "chill the heck out" and maybe eat a Snickers. We'd also like to wish you all a happy voting day tomorrow. ::

 

Thanks to Kelley B., Lindsey S., Lisa, Kaitlyn P., Monique R., Jessica S., & Missy B., who know Keaton was the best Batman, so there.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.