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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (346)

Wednesday
Jul022014

Stars & Strips Forever

...or at least with this cake:

"Sad of September" sends his regards.

 

Ask not what your country can do for you... [eyebrow waggle]

 

Not ok, man. Not ok.

 

Of course, some bakers don't need words to show their true colors:

Ah, the good ol' red, blue, white, and black.

 

No, wait. I can't do it. I can't just move on to the next cake. I tried - I really did - but I just can't. I'm afraid this calls for a Jen Rant. Sorry.

Here goes.

[Ahem.]

Seriously, Wreckerator? SERIOUSLY? This is what you're calling an "American flag," to be sold here IN America, and for America's birthday, no less? I mean, really? Red and BLUE stripes? Black stars? REALLY? Have you no shame? No patriotic pride? No...
Uh...wait...

Um. What is that?

Ok. Never mind. This is worse.

 

Now, what do you say we go out with a bang?

Theeeere it is.

 

Amber E., Carol S., Sarah C., Christina P., Robert I., Hillary H., & Jennifer, I don't know about you, but my confidence in these wreckerators seems to be flagging.

*****

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Wednesday
Jun252014

How To Be Popular On The Internet

Today we're going to talk about what makes a successful blog post. Remember, it is very important to follow these instructions carefully, or else trolls may never find you and tell you how stupid you are.

 

Step 1:

Start with boobs.

Because an internet without boobs is like fingers without bones: Horrifying.

 

Step 2:

Add adorable animals, like:

Kittens...

Bunnies...

And, of course, monkeys...

...with boobs.

 

Now that you've captured the attention of your audience, it's time to talk about something important and life changing.

You know, like Kim Kardashian's divorce:

 

And don't forget to sprinkle in a generous helping of "hip slang" for your peeps, yo!

"J... J... Jammin' on the one."

 

Finally, once you've wowed your audience with your insightful wisdom, it's time to leave them wanting more. If you have more boobs, now would be a good time to use them.

Unless they look like that.

 

If not, you can always say something about Justin Bieber:

Because love him or hate him, he is the internet.


That and boobs.

 

Thanks to Kristen M., Christina E., Kara A., Bethany M., Sarah H., Jill H., Zoe B., and Anony M., who would NEVER marry for a TV show or for money. Uh...right, guys?