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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (498)

Monday
Jul042016

When July Is Forthcoming

It's America's birthday, e'erbody!

Don't you hate it when you get to the party and/or bakery and everyone's started drinking without you?

 

Of course, most folks know today simply as:

4th July of.

Or July 4th of.

Your choice.

 

Yes, friends, today is a day to salute all nations, but mostly America. Preferably with a glorious three-hour finale, condensed into a minute and a half. (OBSCURE MUPPET JOKE HEYOOOO)

"You are all WEIRDOS."

 

Today is a day of fireworks, fun, and patriotic grilled meat... um... cakes. Obviously.

"You know what this 4th of July sh*t grill needs? A FUZZY PURPLE BORDER HEYOOOO!"
- a drunk baker, probably

(John: "You already used the 'heyooo' thing, take that out."
Me: IT'S MY BLOG HEYOOOOO
John: "...."
Me: "Pass me my drink, farm boy. HEYOOOOO."
John: "No. You've had enough tea."
Me: "NOOOOOOOO HEYOOOOO"
John: "I've quit better jobs than this.")

 

So whatever you're up to today, folks, just remember:
Today is also the day we celebrate the great Will Smith movie.

Just as soon as we remember how to spell it.

 

Thanks to Matthew C., Julie A., Samantha W., Katie S., & Ashleigh G. for reminding me what movie to watch tonight. HEYOOOOO.

*****

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Tuesday
Jun282016

Hiya, CHUM (Cake Wrecks "Celebrates" Shark Week)

[pacing] Here's the thing, minions:

I don't like sharks.

"Candygram?"

"NOPE."

 

Why not? Well, they're all cold-blooded - all of them! - and they like, LIVE at the beach, and then there's always gross stuff in their teeth you have to PRETEND you don't see and it just gets awkward, you know?

"Sorry, but you've got a... seal? I think?... yeah, right there. No, you missed it. Still there. Nuh-uh. Look, can I get you a toothpick? Or a splintered oar?"

 

I mean, sure, it sounds fun to stock the moat of your futuristic evil lair with sharks with friggin' laser beams on their heads, but here's another thing you may not know: sometimes sharks look at each other. Can we talk about the mess? Because OH MY GOSH THE MESS.

And put that bowl down, Francois, because I told you I don't like shark fin soup, and if that shows up again at dinner there WILL be heck to pay.

 

Ahem. So. Minions. I'm told this week is "Shark Week," and that we're supposed to "celebrate" somehow. Well let me ask you, how does someone who hates sharks celebrate Shark Week?

Because I think they do it... like this:

MWUAHHAHAHAHAHA!!

Lookit the little weeny shark, all scared and silly looking!

 

Ah, but wait, minions, because I have a REAL treat coming out next. Francois?

[whipping off white sheet]

TADAAAAAA.... oh.

Huh. I guess that's all that was left after the lasers.

But hey, dig in!

 

Thanks to Leslie W., Jodee R., Trudy B., Viktoria P., & Nikki V. for being the best minions to ever minion... today.

*****

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