Cakes, the final frontier...
Star Fleet Recreation Department -- Matchmaker's Log:
Attempts to celebrate Valentine's Day on the Starship Wrecksurprise have not gone entirely as planned.
The Horta took the pink dye beautifully, but got overexcited when someone fed him too many cookies and burned through 19 decks and the outer hull.
It took over an hour to fix the breach, and three crewmen are still unaccounted for.
(There goes my promotion.)
The Andorian lovebugs we imported are super friendly:
...but it turns out they're poisonous, and Dr. McCoy is out of antivenom.
On the plus side, I finally convinced Mr. Spock to give Nurse Chapel a Valentine!
She threw a bowl of plomeek soup at him.
Which he claimed was delicious.
Personally, I was thrilled when the Tellarite agreed to dress up as Cupid,
...but shaving him clogged the sonic showers, and now I'm confined to quarters.
Oh, and the tribbles got into the Valentine's candy and have overrun decks 23-25.
Turns out, chocolate is bad for tribbles.
So now I've got three decks of wired, farting tribbles to contend with.
(I guess I'm kinda glad I'm confined to quarters...)
Not to mention the food replicators are on the fritz...
...and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes.
On top of everything, Captain Kirk's choice of Valentine for the bridge crew was -- well -- unfortunate.
McCoy's out of antidote for that, too.
So all in all, I think we'll just skip Valentine's Day next year.
High commendations to our cake cadets Michelle L., Nic B., Rachel H., MJ S., Maria M., Jen F., Emily N., Veronica R., and Chrispy. May you all Live Long and Prosper -- perhaps by sticking to flowers and candy this Valentine's Day.