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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (484)

Monday
Apr182016

It's Worse Than That, They're Dead, Jen

So Jen wants you to think our national parks are all fun and games and kayaking and snuggling baby otters and stuff. Well, we live in Florida, man! We have the Everglades where literally everything wants to kill and eat you. Or kill you and leave your body for something ELSE to eat you. But definitely with the killing thing.

What, you think I'm exaggerating?

THIS ALLIGATOR WANTS TO EAT YOUR FACE.

That's right, a smashed cake alligator wants to kill you. It's serious down here, guys.

 

And then there's the snakes:

"Help meeeee!"

Which this baker has so helpfully illustrated mid-murder.

 

We've got poison toads:

"I want you to croak."

 

And snakes:

GAAAAAAkeepscrollingkeepscrollingkeepscrolling

 

And giant angry spiders:

Who team up with killer bees...

 

Did I mention the snakes?

BECAUSE WE HAVE A LOT OF SNAKES.

 

Not to mention the armies of squirrel-sized mosquitoes:

They're very friendly. No sense of personal space.

 

Piranhas:

Seriously.

 

And panthers.

NO LION.

Because of course we have panthers. Why wouldn't we have panthers?! I mean, what would a swamp be without FRIGGIN PANTHERS?!?!?!

So.
To sum up, if you come to one of Florida's many beautiful national parks, you're gonna die. Probably. Best not to chance it. Just go to Disney and marvel at the animatronic deer and bunnies, which are super lifelike this time of year.

 

This has been a public service announcement from Cheryl G., Kelly V., Tracey S., Anony M., Sarah G., Andrew W., Ashley M., Kelly R., & Gretchen T.

*****

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Tuesday
Apr122016

10 Easy Ways To Completely Wreck Your Icing Balloons

It's almost TOO simple: a round blob with a string.

So how can you wreck the humble icing balloon?

Oh, my sweet, naive little baker friends.

LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.

 

1) Embrace The Airbrush:

I'm talking full-on bear hug territory here, folks. Love it. Use it. Defend it with your life. Don't ever let it go.

 

2) Choose Your Colors.... WISELY:

Crap brown with black "highlights?" Oooh, now you're cooking with gas!

 

Plus, anything that brings to mind bleeding orifices...

...IS PERFECT.

 

3) Remember Size Is Relative:

And you could totally fit a few more in there.

 

4) ...But Bigger Is Always Better:

Just throw a few tiny balloons on top to keep it confusing.

 

5) Of COURSE That Piping Tip Works

I mean, why wouldn't it?

 

6) Try Turning Them Into Insidious Ground-Dwelling Creatures:

::slither slither slither::

 

7) Or Colorful Hair Buns!

Floating grandma heads have never looked so festive.

(I'm not the only one seeing this, right?)

 

8) Gravity Schmavity:

Just be sure to never look at how real balloons work in real life, 'cuz that shiz will blow your freaking mind.

 

9) Look For Inspiration In Unlikely Places:

Like the wads of chewing gum under the counter!

 

And finally, the tried-and-true favorite of bakers everywhere:

10) Just Make Them Look Like Sperm:

 

 

Aww, three of them made it!

 

Thanks to Allison W., Erin, Becky G., Anne B., Hilary E., Mandy B., Rachel W., Brenda, Susan C., & Jason for finding some of the most hilarious balloon wrecks ever conceived.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.