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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Literal LOLs (146)

Wednesday
Jan062016

Basic Instructions

How to Literally Be the Worst Wreckerator:

 

1) Many names have unusual variations these days, so always remember to double check the spelling ahead of time.

 

"And her name is Starr with two 'r's."

[writing] "Star...with... two 'R's. Roger.

"No, Star."

"Lady, I got this."

 

2) A picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes it only takes a few to get the general idea across.

 

"Hi. I'm looking for a Super Mario cake with a green pipe on it - you know, the thing with the plant coming out of it? I called it in a few days ago."

"Oh, right. Um..."

"Sorry, ma'am, but your cake is in another bakery."

 

3) Keep in mind that some grammatical words have more than one meaning.

For example, 'slash' can also mean 'kill', 'period' can mean 'length of time', and 'space' will always be a mystery.

"Not gonna lie; I would have slashed to go to a 'Pirate Space Palooza' when I was 12. Period."

 

4) Ordering a cake shouldn't be rocket surgery, so always strive to make the ordering process as easy as possible for your clients.

 

"Hi there, I'd like to order a cake? It's for my friend Vicki; she's turning thirty on Thursday."

"No problem! I'll just write, 'Vicki Thirty Thursday', then, shall I?"

"Um, no - just a simple 'Happy Thirtieth' will do, thanks."

"'Happy Birthday Thirty,' comin' right up!"

"No no, I want 'Happy Thirtieth,' and then her name on it."

"Yooooou betcha. 'Thirty Happy Vickies' it is!"

"Are you daft? Look, I just want 'Happy Thirtieth, Vicki' ok?"

"OH! Of course! Silly me. Now I understand."

"Finally! Thank you!"

"I just have one question."

"What?"

"Where does the 'Thursday' go?"

[silence]

"Vicki? You ok?"

 

 

Thanks to Nancy W., Michele S., Steph W., Nancy E., and my good friend Scott Meyer of the real Basic Instructions for the inspiration.

*****

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Tuesday
Jan052016

Sooooo... No?

You'll never guess what Taryn T. asked her baker:

As perfect as that is, I feel kinda bad that Taryn didn't get her unicorn.

So Taryn, JUST FOR YOU:

Humpy Dumpy

 

Elvis McSquiggle Eye

 

"Nothing To See Here" Brutus the Smoothest [WINK WINK]

 

And I can't decide which of these last two is my favorite:

Squintsy the Aardvark

 

Or

Stumpy Wallbanger.

 

You guys feel free to vote in the comments.

 

Thanks to Ginny V., Cassandra F., Brandi F., Heather C., & Joshanna R. for proving that, no matter what, the answer was still "no."

*****

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