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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Literal LOLs (122)

Monday
Aug232010

I Never Inhaled

This was ordered for a school competition called the Academic Decathlon:

Or, as Wreckerators know it, "AcPec."

Now, I'd like to say that at least they spelled "capitalize" right, buuuut...

they didn't.

*sigh*

The following is a dramatization. The Wreck, however, is very real.

Bakery: "Yello!"

Jenny C.: "Hi, I'd like a cake with 'Happy Birthday' on it."

Bakery: "Sure! Anything else?"

Jenny C: [shaking head] "Just 'Happy Birthday'."

Bakery: "Okey dokey!"

*sigh*

Two friends nicknamed Frizz and Kermit ask a baker to hold a blank cake for them while they finish their shopping. The baker agrees, and sticks a hold tag on the box.

What happened next? Only the Wrecker knows.

"On hold regularly."

Well that clears things up.

*sigh*

And finally, Anda ordered a couple of cakes for a birthday party. To keep it simple, she asked for the same inscription on both. Which is exactly what she got.

Yep, despite the fact that the Wreckerator wrote "bath," s/he actually did write the same thing on both. I don't have a photo of the second cake, but Anda assures me it looked a lot like this:

Really.

And the kicker?

The store refused to fix them.

Why?

Because - waaaait for it - that's what she asked for.

Really.

All together now: *sigh*

Kristy M., Jenny C., Ellen K., & Anda S., this post would make a great breathing exercise. :)

Tuesday
Jul202010

The Number Won

Hey, guys! Number 1 here, and it's my birthday!! I am so excited to have my first birthday as a Cake Wrecks writer. What wreckiness will I get to witness FIRST HAND this year?!? I can't wait. I keep imagining Jen ordering me a cake with some sort of numerical wreckery like "Numbered One," "1 Number," "1# One," "Nummer Won," or "Numb Are Want in pink icing." So in that spirit, here are some other Wrecks whose days are numbered.

 

Maybe it's celebrating Mr. Big's 13th episode of "Sex in the City?"

 

Yeah...probably not.
(Next to "Big," it should read, "off-center.")

 

 

At least they wrote a big "13" though. It would have been doubly wreckalicious if they wrote it all tiny-like...

 

...which brings me to:

 

In this case, "Giant 57" = "Giant empty space and 57 rainbow sperm."

 

 

A very merry unbirthday to this guy:

Hey, who's counting?

 

 

Here's how Kelly got a brand new nickname:

(Give it a minute.)

 

It could be an inspirational cake, though, if you just tweak the punctuation:

"Asbigas, you can make it! 30! Happy Birthday."

See?


There's really no excuse, Ricki M., Jane R., Callie B., and Kelly (A.K.A. Asbigas.) These cakes are a giant number #2! With pink stars. And frosting flowers under neat.

 

UPDATE: I got my wish!! Here are the cake mounds Jen and John got me for my birthday:*

 

*Carrot jockey not included.

They were pretty awesomely wrecky (note the "#1") but MAN, did they taste good. Jen and I were kinda bummed that they removed the cupcake wrapper before frosting them; that would have made a perfect wreck! Thanks again, guys!