Ladies and gentlemen, the stories you're about to see are true. The phone calls, however, are just how I imagined they went.
"Yes, I'd like it to say 'Happy 6th Birthday Robert.' Oh, and could you put Spider-Man on the cake, too? That's his favorite character."
You're welcome, lady!
"Just have it say 'Happy Birthday Keith & Arianna,' please."
[writing down order] "Nooo problem, sir. And what kind of decorations would you like?"
"Oh, whatever. I trust you guys."
"Could you write, 'Happy birthday cake, Chloe'?"
"Yes, seriously. She's three years old."
"Ohhh kay. You really want me to write that?"
"Yeah. See, she never says just 'happy birthday,' she always says 'happy birthday cake.'"
"Oh, I get it! Ok, sure, no problem."
"And what message would you like on your cookie cake?"
"Oh, this isn't for any special occasion. Although if you could put sprinkles on it, that'd be cool."
"Have it say, 'Happy birthday, Mike.'"
Is there an echo in here?
"Just put 'Happy birthday, Stephanie.' Thanks!"
Kinda makes you want to yell, "I'm an idiot!!" doesn't it?
Thanks to Joanna B., Sheri, Jodee W., Genevieve, Melissa M., Stephanie R. for literally being my most recent wreckporters.