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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Literal LOLs (171)

Monday
Aug062012

In Honor of the 2012 Olympic Games

Olympic fever has swept the world again, reminding us all just how rewarding perseverance, determination, and a comfy recliner can be while we're stuffing our faces in front of the television.

I also like to yell critiques at the athletes during these times, because I enjoy both the irony and the frightened look John gives me when he reminds me the TV isn't on yet.

To this I say: "P'FFAW!" (It would have been "P'SHAW," but my mouth was full.) I don't need to actually WATCH the Olympics to get in the Olympic spirit!

After all, I have this:

The Olympic Dots.

 

Technically those are supposed to be rings, though.

 Thank you.

 

You know, as off-the-mark as those two are, they're still less sad than this "correct" version:

 

 Feel the spirit, y'all. Woo. Go. Win. Or whatever.

 

At least that one got the rings in the right order, though, and isn't made out of Scrapple:

Or is it peanut brittle? 

[head tilt]

Nah, that's totally Scrapple, in my book.

 

I don't know if this was supposed to be an Olympic cake or not, but let's just assume it was so I can keep laughing, k?

 

It's that or Christmas condoms. Or maybe both? Oh, wait! I HAVE A JOKE FOR THAT: 

 "Something something pole-vaulting." 

(I'm going for the [comedy] GOLD!)

 

Ok, enough rings. Let's try some Olympic weights:

I especially like how the baker added that poo-like rope border for accuracy. Um... What is this supposed to be, again?

[Note: John and I just argued over whether or not the baker intentionally covered up the writing on the bottom tiers. He says yes. I say his overt optimism is pooping on my wrecky parade.]

 

Maybe it would help if bakers didn't have any visuals to worry about, and just stuck with words:

Nope.

 

Right. Back to the rings, then.

HISTORY FLASH: According to Wikipedia, the repository of all knowledge that is accurate and true, (Est. 1904), the Olympic Rings were designed in 1912 by Baron Pierre de Coubertin, who stated that their colors represent "the colours of all the nations, with no exception."

ANNNNYWAY.

 

After that it seems almost petty to point out that there's not supposed to be an orange ring, but what can I say? I'm out to make Tom proud.

And I won't. back. down.

Also, I'm pretty sure this wreck's days are numbered. Incorrectly.

 

Thanks to Marcy B.,  Julie S., Amanda M., Liz, Beth K., Charlene, Angi H., Melissa R., & Callie B. for catching Olympic fever with me. Feel better soon, guys!

Thursday
Aug022012

OU812?

Here's a little wrecky behind-the-scenes trivia for you: while I see and tag every photo submission that's sent in each week, I don't always see the e-mails they come in with. That's because my friend and wrecky minion Julianne downloads and names all the files for me beforehand.

The upshot of this is that I see photos with no context, unless Julianne sees fit to squeeze a short explanation into the file name. ("JohnS.sneeezed-while-ordering.jpg") It also means if you ever see a file name like "DebbieR.blue-penguin-penis-poop.jpg, you can blame/thank Julianne.

Most wrecks are pretty self-explanatory, of course, but then there are the ones like this:

Did the baker lapse into a hypnotic trance there at the end? Was s/he receiving coded messages from ET? In short, WHAT...[Shatner flail]...the heck?

 

Ok, I've just looked up the e-mail, and now that I know the answer I can totally see it. Take a minute and see if you can puzzle it out, too. If not, I'll spell it out for you at the end. [hint]

 

Sometimes bakers are kind enough to give us visual clues:  

Hang on, I'm getting something here...[putting hand to forehead]...yep....yep... ok, I got it! It was supposed to say, "CAMERON ON SHIRT." No need to thank me; I'm here to help.

(So...I guess Cameron may need a New Jersey. EH? EH??)

 

'Course, sometimes puzzling out a confusing cake can lead to all the wrong places:

Um...

I bet that's the last time Trin asks for "Cake, Cake, Cake!" on her cake. 

o.0

 

Thanks to Christy J., Michelle R., & Wade C. for finishing what you started. [And to John for the Van Halen reference. Hee.]

 

(So, did you guess that Christy spelled out Corinne's name on the bakery order form? You know "2 N's, 1 R?" With a star/asterisk to draw attention to it? You DID? Good, good. I've trained you well.)