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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Literal LOLs (184)

Tuesday
Feb122013

It's Not Fat, It's Fluffy

Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone!!

Ok, you've already got your King Cake, of course, but what about your OTHER Mardi Gras cake?

You know, the one to frighten off small children.

 

Yeah, that one.

[GEEK JOKE: Looks like Lady Cassandra found a new makeup artist. Haha! ZING.]

 

This one could also work:

THE FLY!!!

 

The comedy and tragedy masks are a great choice for warding off pesky youngin's:

 

...provided you only use the tragedy side, of course. Fortunately, most bakers are way ahead of you there:

 

Yep, that's a tragedy.

 

 

YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED THE TIKI GODS.

NOW GO CALL YOUR MOTHER.

 

What's that? You're still surrounded by rug rats? Ok, time to break out the big flotsam:

Part of me wants to run away screaming, but the other half wants to glue all that stuff to my face and go grocery shopping. And if you don't think I'd move the mole to a new spot on my face every five minutes, then you just don't know me. Or Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

 

Well, I trust these scary selections have sent the kids packing, so let me end with a very special birthday wish:

[soulful singing]

I see your literal "colors"

SHINING THROUGH!

I see your literal "colors"

And THAT'S WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS ORDER SHEET.

 
Thanks to Heather D., Elizabeth D., Karen E., Bunny, Julia K., & Deana M. for not sending in more King Cakes. Seriously. THANK YOU. ;)

Monday
Feb042013

1,2,3,4 - I Declare A Thumb Drive War!

 It's been over three years since I posted one of my favorite Cake Wrecks of all time, so I think it's high time for a refresher. (You'll see why in a minute - I promise this isn't just a rerun!)

 **********

 

[answering phone] "Cakey Cake Bakery, Jill speaking! How can I help you?"

"Hi, I need to order a cake for my boss. We have a photo of him playing golf that we'd like to put on it, though - can you do that?"

"Of course! Just bring the photo in on a USB drive and we'll print it out here."

"Great, I'll bring it by this afternoon."

 

[Later...]

 

  "Hey, Jill, what am I putting on this cake?"

 "Oh, check the counter; I left the jump drive out for you there."

[calling from the back room] "Really? This is what they want on the cake?"

"Yeah, the customer just brought it in."

"Okey dokey!"

 TRUE STORY, BRO.

 

I mention this because on Friday Reddit user just_leave_it posted a new and improved version from his friend Maureen C. of this exact same situation, and it's as gloriously ridiculous as you're all hoping it is:

Yep, the baker stuck the thumb drive in the photocopier, and printed an edible version of that.

SCORE!!!

So next, to complete this trifecta of wrecky awesomeness, I'm going to need one of you pro bakers out there to just jam the thumb drive itself into a mound of icing. I AM SO NOT KIDDING. Consider it my personal challenge the next time you get a photo cake order.

Just remember to set up a hidden camera first, so you can send me video of the customer's reaction when you bring the cake out. That's right: VIDEO OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Make this happen, bakers. I believe in you!

 

Thanks again to Elisabeth and the scores of you loyal wreckies who sent in the Reddit wreck this weekend. 

*******

Oh, and for those of you who like to know the epilogue:

Both bakers were apologetic and offered to fix and/or replace the cakes for free. The first group elected to keep the wrecked cake, since it's funnier, and this latest gal got the corrected cake for half off and the wrecked cake for free - not too shabby.

However, it didn't help the baker's case much when this was the apology note tucked inside the replacement cake's box:

(If you're confused, it might help to know that the cake photo was of a guy holding an accordion.) 

Ok, so maybe this baker should just stick to edible photocopies. :D