Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Literal LOLs (184)

Friday
Nov022012

"Takes Direction Well"

Ever feel like you've lost your direction in life? 

Do you find yourself wandering aimlessly through bakery aisles and back alley icing parlors*?

* I don't actually know if back alley icing parlors exist, but a girl can dream.

Are you stuck in the hangar bay of life, waiting for the pod bay doors of opportunity to open up and spit you out into the sucking black void of PURPOSE?

If the answer is yes, maybe, or "huh?", then have I got the job for you!

That's right, my friends, the time has never been riper to be a Wreckerator! Or a person who likes to mix metaphors badly, like a withered, overripe tree in space. 

But let's focus on the wrecking thing for now, shall we?

We're looking for a few good pairs of hands (preferably attached to still-functioning torsos) that can follow directions TO THE LETTER.

And by "we" I mean "me."

And if you see something grammatically wrong with that statement, then I'm afraid you're already disqualified. Kindly collect your complimentary "Prefessional Baker" buttons at the door and show yourselves out.

Now, for the rest of you, just LOOK at all the exciting things your future could have in store!

The glamor! The excitement! The satisfaction of giving a customer EXACTLY what they ask for!

 

But the REAL cherry on top? Someday you, too, could write, "cherry on top" on one of your orders!

Consider this something to work toward.


Now, who here failed Biology?

Ah, excellent! 

Because next up: baby shower cakes.

 

Thanks to Inge D., Stephanie S., Emily S., Stephanie H., & Sargam M. for being the wind beneath my leaves. Except there's no wind...IN SPACE.

Wednesday
Oct102012

In Literal Color

Ok, Wreckies, time for a pop quiz. I'll tell you what these people ordered on their cakes, and then you see if you can guess how the baker wrecked it.

 

We'll start with something easy: 

"A giant 57"

Yeah, at this point you'd probably be more surprised to see just a 57 on there, huh?

 

"Happy Birthday Noah" in red

Apparently a lot of bakers pronounce the word "and" as "'n", because I see a lot of these. So many kids having to share their cakes with a fictional character. It's sad, really.

 

This version's a bit more convoluted, though:

"Happy Birthday Ronda" in chocolate

I wonder how many times Ronda had to explain who Incho was.

 

"Dave and Amanda" inside a heart

Ok, that was another easy one - but why the giant sunflower?

 

"Happy 85th Birthday Angelo" in "happy" colors

It's a lot more fun to read that as "colon" instead of "color." Just sayin'.

 

 "Happy 1st Birthday New New," plus a boy with light brown skin.

(Yes, New New is the actual name.) 

In the baker's defense, it would have taken a LOT more effort to write out, "boy with light brown skin."


Thanks to Jane R., Russ Z., Ronda M., Stephanie M., Kim S., & Heather K. for proving that sometimes you really can get exactly what you ask for.