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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (351)

Friday
Jan132012

You Say Tomato, I Say Turnip

Hey, everybody! Do you know what time it is?!

That's right, it's "You write the &%#* post, john!!" time!

So, uh, yeah.

Let's see... I need something really easy to write so I can go back to playing my video game. (Those aliens aren't gonna kill themselves!)

Right, how about some wedding missed marks? Or as I like to call them, "Let's have an Epcot in the comments about getting what you paid for!"

Weee.

BEGIN!

Ooh, pretty. Of course, this cake was on MarthaStewart.com so it was probably made with platinum shavings and unicorn tears.

Now let's see what Patty I. ended up with.

Bummer.

(On a side note, all I can hear as I write this is the MarioKart music as Jen vanquishes her little cartoon foes. That and the occasional, "In YOUR FACE, Donkey Kong!!")

 

Next cake:

No lie, this is one of my favorite cakes in our library. And please note that it's made with fondant.

Or as Buddy would call it, Fahn Dahn.

Now, people often complain that Missed Marks always have a fondant inspiration cake with an all-buttercream wreck, which is why they're so horrifically bad. So for a better comparison, here's Tina M's resulting cake which was made with fondant:

It's like apples and pigeons.

(I'm now laughing maniacally at my own joke. I think I'm tired.)

 

I can't think of anything funny to say about this next cake. So instead, I'll just sing a song that's currently stuck in my head.

"You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful - it's true!"

"La, la, la, something WHAT to do."

Aaand, that's all I know.

Also, I'd like to apologize to Michael and Stephanie for taking 4 years to post your cake. I overslept.

 

This next inspiration cake is awesome:

Huh. Maybe this one is my favorite. Maybe I just like blue. I'm so confused.

Never mind. So let's analyze the incredible complexity and skill required to make the gorgeous design above:

Step 1. Make a three-tiered round cake.

Step 2. Stick blue circles on it.

Aaand let's see how Serena P.'s bakers did!

Perfect!

Well, that's all the time I have, since I'm pretty sure I just heard a Wii remote hit the wall. And that's never good. ("Oh no, Luigi lose! MAMA!")

So, until next time, be thankful that Jen writes this blog.

Wednesday
Jan112012

I'm Actually NOT Ready For Some Football

I generally try to avoid sports-related stuff like watching ball games, playing ball games, or excessive movement, but even *I* can tell by my Facebook feed that something sports-related is going on. (Or went on. Or is going to go on. STOP PRESSURING ME I JUST DON'T KNOW OKAY?)

So I asked John about it, and he said he thought it was football season. Which might explain some of the stranger submissions I've been getting this week.

Like this:

Thank goodness. I've been waiting for You Teaw to get here for WEEKS.

 

Or this:

This is actually a perfect visual representation of my sports knowledge: half hearted, blatantly incorrect, and really confusing.

 

And speaking of confusing:

Ew.

 

LITTLE KNOWN SPORTS FACT: Did you know footballs are like puffer fish? It's true! Check it out:

INFLATED

 

DEFLATED

 

And while we're at it, remember those Hanukkah cakes with the five-pointed stars? Well, here's your problem:

Turns out there was just a mix-up with the Dallas "Cow-Boys."
(Oy vay! Get that pig skin outta here!)

 

Now it's time to play everyone's favorite football-cake-related game:

TURKEY!! OR!! FOOTBALL?!

Sooo... Turkey? Or football?

Take your time; I'll just be over here humming the Jeopardy theme in between dry heaves. (Is that paprika? *hurk*)

 

Now this, on the other hand, is a football cake I'd totally buy:

This is an intentional joke Amber made for her bakery manager, but it turned into an unintentional wreck when he put it out on the sales floor to sell. I like to think someone with a similarly snarky sensibility snapped it up.

 

And finally, a "cake" that perfectly sums up all this football wreckage:

My thoughts exactly.

 

Thanks to Amber M., Binah, Nilolai N., Rachel L., Claire G., Ellen D., Caitlyn H., Amber G., & Benjamin B. for the home "runs." [snerk]