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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (250)

Friday
Jun262009

Transformers Going Down in Flames

I recently got an e-mail from Chunks the Pioneer, who told me she is a HUGE Transformers fan, and naturally went to the first 11:59 PM showing of Transformers 2. She also said,

"After seeing it [the movie] I got to thinking, why haven’t we seen any Transformer wrecks in honor of this occasion??? Please don't make me beg!"

Well, Chunks - may I call you Chunks? - first and foremost, I find it interesting that seeing Transformers 2 made you want to see (other?) things that are poorly made.

Hah! I kid, I kid. (Or do I?)

That said, I'm happy to share my extended collection of Transformers Wrecks with you. 'Course, you'd think there would be several Transformers cake kits out by now, but no, there's still just the one:

As you can see they spared no expense with it, though. Why, that piece of cardboard is actually printed in color.

The best thing about this design, however, is that no Wreckerator on earth can replicate it. It's true. "Pointy" is simply beyond this groups' skill set:



Optimus Prime battles the red fingers of doom.

Optimus Prime battles the great ketchup spill of '09.

Oh, wait, I take it back: this Wreckerator did manage "pointy":

But with fronds like those, who needs anemones? Eh? Eh?

And lastly, my favorite:

Mmm. Speckly.

Interestingly enough, this Wreckerator's '72 Pinto has those exact same flames airbrushed on the front bumper. Which is pretty darn ironic, if you think about it.

Hey Meagan D., Misty M., Alicia A., & Barbara N., what do you call an Autobot in denial?
Answer: A boat!

(Get it? Denial? De- Nile? The river? Yeah, us ex-JC skippers rule, thankyouverramuch.)

- Related Wreckage: Optimus Wrecks

UPDATE: My apologies to Chunks the Pioneer, who I mistakenly assumed was a guy, since she is, in fact, a girl. And thanks for having such a great sense of humor about it, Chunks. ;)

Friday
Jun122009

Star Wars Weekend

Tomorrow John and I are going to the Star Wars Weekends out at Disney. This is the event that causes our friends who work at Disney - even the hardened sci-fi geeks - to go blank-faced with terror, so needless to say I'm pretty psyched about it. (Apparently we Trekkers have nothing on Star Wars fans in the crazy department.) So in honor of the occasion, and for those of you too distant/sane to attend, here's some Wreckage to get you in the intergalactic mood.

This fun little number features a puddle of R2D2 (or possibly an attempt at Captain America's shield?) in the upper left-hand corner, and a Ferengi Marauder in the lower right-hand corner. [head tilt] Huh.

Hey, uh, Wreckerators? It's probably not wise to cross the sci-fi/geekery streams. Especially the Trek/Wars streams. You never, ever want to do tha...

Oh no you di'n't, Matt B.!

(Ok, so Matt's friends Wrecked it on purpose. It's still funny, though.)


Come to the Dark Side. We have granite texture-in-a-can.

Plus, our storm troopers have huge...

Uh...

Goiters?


Yeah, let's go with goiters. No one knows what those are, anyway.


Bobble-headed Yoda you will love. Awesome is he:

His lack of legs, disturbing I find.

Little known fact: the first R2D2 prototype was made using only Styrofoam, blue painter's tape, and a Sharpie:

Plus, did you guys know that R2D2's birth name was Reginald Dillingham? It's true. I wouldn't lie to you. (Unless it was funny. Or I was bored. Or cake was involved. But this, this is true. Honest.)

And lastly, J. Williamson's local paper featured this as a "hot new trend" in weddings:

So naturally you're thinking, "Gee, Jen, people are serving Wolfman's head on a platter at weddings?"

(This is Wolfman, by the way:)


The answer, of course, is no - and I laugh in the face of your childish naivete. Hahahah! Ahhahaha! Mwaha. Ha. Aha.

Yes, as I was saying, the answer is no - because people are in fact serving Chewbacca's head on a platter at their weddings. That's Chewbacca. See the resemblance?

That's what I thought.

Debra B., Luci, Katie R., Brandi M., & Anony, when it comes to cake, use the forks.

Related Wreckage: Do These Taste Chewy To You?

NOTE: Today's post is dedicated to CW reader Jacob Taylor, since I hear he's a big Star Wars fan. Jacob is 8 years old and was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor last month, so he and his family could use all the good wishes, prayers, and warm thoughts you'd care to send their way. The good news is that he's responding well enough to radiation treatment that he's back to reading again this week. So, hi, Jacob! Say, you bakers in the Cincinnati Ohio area, how's about whipping him up some organic cake to celebrate? (He's on an all-natural diet these days.)