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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (258)

Thursday
Jul162009

Hello, Kitty?

Hello Kitty is the epitome of all things cute, to an almost nauseating degree:

However, put her in the hands of these bakers and she becomes a puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem:


This next one is deceptively nice, other than the RSS-icon hair bow...

...but then you realize that massive domed face is ALL icing, slathered onto a...a....[swallowing] CUPCAKE CAKE!! [blood-curdling scream]

I think this next baker tried to make a Hello Kitty vampire, but since HK has no mouth it turned out a little...odd.

Transplanted walrus tusks, or dangling fingers? I suppose either works on the cracked black background. Oh, and maybe this is just me, but I find that a vampire who waves totally loses all "cool" credibility. Seriously. Can you picture Dracula waving? Of course not. It's just not dignified.

Now, if you want a creepy Hello Kitty done right, you do what Bonefinder did:

Zombie Hello Kitty - excellent!

And lastly, Julie M. found out the hard way that her local bakery either has no idea who Hello Kitty is, or believes she is Porky Pig's sister:

Yes, that's really supposed to be Hello Kitty. Wow.

Hey Ayana W., Holly U., Kelly H., and Matthew Z., what do you get when you combine Hello Kitty & Darth Vader?

Answer: Something that horrifies every Star Wars fan in existence:


Everyone can relax; it's Photoshopped. For legitimate HK insanity, though, check out Hello Kitty Hell. It's funny stuff, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a lot of the stuff on there is adorable. (Look at these water bottles and tell me they're not just the cutest - go on.)

Monday
Jul132009

Beauty is Only Skin Deep

If you think animated characters today set an unrealistic standard of beauty for your kids, then you're in luck! Today's cakes will show you some great ways to lower that standard, all while teaching important life-lessons!

First, remember, girls: strong jawlines = strong women.



Also, some things are better gotten off your chest.


While others - such as missing limbs, sagging chests, and worryingly large necks - are best left unmentioned:

On the plus side, questions like "Where's the rest of her choker? Or her arm? Or her ear?" can help distract viewers from misspellings. Case in point: did you notice "bithday"?

Brenda S., Courtenay P., Aaryn C., & Beth, these cakes are beautiful, no matter what they say.

- Related Wreckage: My Youngest Wreckporter