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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (253)

Friday
Jun122009

Star Wars Weekend

Tomorrow John and I are going to the Star Wars Weekends out at Disney. This is the event that causes our friends who work at Disney - even the hardened sci-fi geeks - to go blank-faced with terror, so needless to say I'm pretty psyched about it. (Apparently we Trekkers have nothing on Star Wars fans in the crazy department.) So in honor of the occasion, and for those of you too distant/sane to attend, here's some Wreckage to get you in the intergalactic mood.

This fun little number features a puddle of R2D2 (or possibly an attempt at Captain America's shield?) in the upper left-hand corner, and a Ferengi Marauder in the lower right-hand corner. [head tilt] Huh.

Hey, uh, Wreckerators? It's probably not wise to cross the sci-fi/geekery streams. Especially the Trek/Wars streams. You never, ever want to do tha...

Oh no you di'n't, Matt B.!

(Ok, so Matt's friends Wrecked it on purpose. It's still funny, though.)


Come to the Dark Side. We have granite texture-in-a-can.

Plus, our storm troopers have huge...

Uh...

Goiters?


Yeah, let's go with goiters. No one knows what those are, anyway.


Bobble-headed Yoda you will love. Awesome is he:

His lack of legs, disturbing I find.

Little known fact: the first R2D2 prototype was made using only Styrofoam, blue painter's tape, and a Sharpie:

Plus, did you guys know that R2D2's birth name was Reginald Dillingham? It's true. I wouldn't lie to you. (Unless it was funny. Or I was bored. Or cake was involved. But this, this is true. Honest.)

And lastly, J. Williamson's local paper featured this as a "hot new trend" in weddings:

So naturally you're thinking, "Gee, Jen, people are serving Wolfman's head on a platter at weddings?"

(This is Wolfman, by the way:)


The answer, of course, is no - and I laugh in the face of your childish naivete. Hahahah! Ahhahaha! Mwaha. Ha. Aha.

Yes, as I was saying, the answer is no - because people are in fact serving Chewbacca's head on a platter at their weddings. That's Chewbacca. See the resemblance?

That's what I thought.

Debra B., Luci, Katie R., Brandi M., & Anony, when it comes to cake, use the forks.

Related Wreckage: Do These Taste Chewy To You?

NOTE: Today's post is dedicated to CW reader Jacob Taylor, since I hear he's a big Star Wars fan. Jacob is 8 years old and was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor last month, so he and his family could use all the good wishes, prayers, and warm thoughts you'd care to send their way. The good news is that he's responding well enough to radiation treatment that he's back to reading again this week. So, hi, Jacob! Say, you bakers in the Cincinnati Ohio area, how's about whipping him up some organic cake to celebrate? (He's on an all-natural diet these days.)

Monday
Jun012009

Panic at the Disco

Ashley R. is the one who makes all the "cool" cakes for her friends' birthdays, so when it came time for her own birthday her friend Kat decided to order her a "super spectacular" professional cake. Kat gave the baker this photo of Ashley's favorite band, Panic at the Disco:

...and she asked that the cake look like lead singer Brendon Urie (2nd from left).

Now, this can't be the best photo of Urie out there - I mean, he's gnawing on a bunch of flowers - so you have to pity the baker a little.

Well, until you see this, that is:


Now you're just pitying Ashley, right?

If you're like me, you're not going to be able to tear your eyes away from this thing for a while. That's Ok, though; I'll wait.

[whistling]

Poor Kat had the cake delivered right to Ashley's door, so she didn't see it herself until after she arrived at the party to find everyone backed wide-eyed against the walls in a defensive line. Then, when they tried to cut the thing, they found it was covered with rock-hard rice krispy treats and tasted bad to boot. Still, all was not lost: Upon discovering that the mouth and nostrils were hollow, the party-goers amused themselves by sticking stuff in them.

Ah, Ashley, it's nice to hear your friends are my kind of friends. I'd have some red licorice strips up those nostrils faster than you can say "deranged man found beaten to death by his own hand".