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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (253)

Tuesday
Apr142009

What About Spongebob?

I have to preface this post with a little caveat: I've never watched Spongebob SquarePants. Well, unless you count those times at CiCi's Pizza, since the TVs there are hard-wired to Cartoon Network for the resident herds of screaming little leaguers. (John and I like to visit sometimes to remind ourselves why we're not having children. And for the barbecue pizza.)

(This is Spongebob, btw, for all you non-parents and/or subterranean dwellers.)

So anyway, let me apologize in advance for the lack of Spongebobian references. I like to think that most of you wouldn't get them anyway.

Spongebob is essentially a big rectangle, right? So naturally, if you want to recreate him in cake you should always go with a bunch of round cupcakes:

Like so.

It does kind of look like we're peeking into Spo's (Can I call him Spo? Anyone care? No? Good.) casket, though, doesn't it? Plus some prankster has ripped his nose off and turned his tie upside down. [tsking] So disrespectful.

Speaking of which...

I know you can still see part of Spo's eye here, but don't worry: The baker will cover that up when s/he writes a misspelled, abbreviated version of your name there.

This next one is like the Fiji Mermaid of Cupcake Cakes (patooey!*):

Only instead of half mammal, half fish, it's half Spongebob, half...pedestal? Robot? TV on wheels? I dunno - what the heck is that thing? You tell me. Best answer may or may not get posted here, so gimme your best shot, punks.

Oh, and we're just getting started with the Spongebob Wreckage, so prepare to have gads more sprung at you sometime later this week.**

*I think we should all spit every time the horrific term "cupcake cake" [patooey!] or its abbreviation "CCC" [patooey!] is mentioned. Y'all down with that? Just watch your aim: people and keyboards don't much appreciate being spat upon.

**I just used "gads" and "sprung" in the same sentence. Dude, someone get me a sweater; I am sooo cool.

Monday
Mar302009

Twins!

I think Mandy said this was a sports logo of some sort:

Which the bakery in question did a fantastic job recreating in CCC form:

NOT!!

[derisively] Ahahahahahah!
Hahahah!

[snorting hiccup-turned-choke]
Hooheehaha-hack!

[coughing fit]
Ack ack ack!

[sound of water glugging]

[setting glass down] Ahem. Wow, who knew sarcastic sounds of [cough, cough] contempt could be so dangerous? Whew! Gonna have to dial back the maniacal laughter in the future.

What's that? The Wreck? Oh, well, Mandy, I gotta tell ya: Transporter malfunctions like these are why I prefer to travel by shuttlecraft.