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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (258)

Monday
Jun012009

Panic at the Disco

Ashley R. is the one who makes all the "cool" cakes for her friends' birthdays, so when it came time for her own birthday her friend Kat decided to order her a "super spectacular" professional cake. Kat gave the baker this photo of Ashley's favorite band, Panic at the Disco:

...and she asked that the cake look like lead singer Brendon Urie (2nd from left).

Now, this can't be the best photo of Urie out there - I mean, he's gnawing on a bunch of flowers - so you have to pity the baker a little.

Well, until you see this, that is:


Now you're just pitying Ashley, right?

If you're like me, you're not going to be able to tear your eyes away from this thing for a while. That's Ok, though; I'll wait.

[whistling]

Poor Kat had the cake delivered right to Ashley's door, so she didn't see it herself until after she arrived at the party to find everyone backed wide-eyed against the walls in a defensive line. Then, when they tried to cut the thing, they found it was covered with rock-hard rice krispy treats and tasted bad to boot. Still, all was not lost: Upon discovering that the mouth and nostrils were hollow, the party-goers amused themselves by sticking stuff in them.

Ah, Ashley, it's nice to hear your friends are my kind of friends. I'd have some red licorice strips up those nostrils faster than you can say "deranged man found beaten to death by his own hand".

Monday
May182009

Dora the "Cascajo"

(Before we bring on today's Wreckage, let us pause to pray to the literary powers-that-be that the English-to-Spanish translation site I just used isn't some frat-boy prank, and that "cascajo" doesn't actually mean something like "beaver toe." [closing eyes] Pleasepleasepleaseplease.)

As a refresher, here's what Dora the Explorer, the spunky Spanish-teaching cartoon character, usually looks like:


And here she is looking at you, kid.

Or she might be looking at the person next to you, or someone behind you...it's kind of hard to say, really.

Here she's lost a nose but gained a lovely tan:


And speaking of gaining...
Dang, it looks like Dora's been hitting the cupcakes pretty hard. (And considering she's made of cake here, is that ever ironic.)

Lastly, though, is a truly "special" Dora. A Dora that stands out in the crowd. A Dora that says, "my baker sees the world a little differently." A "manager's special" Dora, if you will:

Karin D., Jenn E., Derek C., por favor manténganse se alejado de las puertas.
(That's the extent of my Spanish, courtesy of the Walt Disney World monorail. Like it?)