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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (236)

Tuesday
Nov182008

Supermom VS the Diabolical Decorator of Doom

And now it's time for another installment of.... SUPERMOM!!

[Duh da daaa! Da da da ta da DAAAA!]

This week, Supermom plans out little Annie's birthday party.

Annie: "Wow, Supermom, my birthday decorations look fantastic! This is going to be the coolest Wizard of Oz party EVER!"


Supermom: "Oh, it was nothing, really. After I finished all of the laundry, balanced the checkbook, and then reworked my dissertation on the ending of world hunger, I had plenty of time!"

Annie: "Oh, wow, are those cookies for the party, too?"


Supermom: "They sure are! It took four days, and I had to stay up all night hand-piping the little rainbows, but all that time and effort were well worth seeing the smile on your darling face. And just wait 'til you see the great Yellow Brick Road cake I ordered! Your father should be here with it any minute..."

Meanwhile, at the Bakery of Badness:

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: "What's this? Supermom has ordered a Wizard of Oz birthday cake for her daughter? Hee-hee! Oh, this is too perfect! Finally, revenge will be MINE!!!"

Diabolical Sidekick: "What will you do, oh Great Bastion of Badness? Oh Foul Foiler of Fondant? Oh Illustrious Icer of Ickines, Dastardly Decorator of Destruction, and Cruel Crafter of..."

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [interrupting] "Do shut up, Sidekick; I'm trying to think."

Diabolical Sidekick: "A thousand apologies, Oh Putrescent Purveyor of Pastries!"

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [rubbing hands together] "Now, the trick is to make something so vile, so heinous, that no one will ever, EVER think it is a yellow brick road with a rainbow over it. But how? What tool in my arsenal is capable of such complete and utter hideousness?

"AHA! I've got it! Diabolical Sidekick, fetch me the Airbrush of Atrocity!"

Later, back at the party:


[Silence]

Annie: [sobbing] "My Yellow Brick Road cake! It looks like an old squished banana! And why does it dead end in a river? And is THAT supposed to be a rainbow?!?"

Supermom: "Never fear, dear daughter: Supermom is here! Now be a good girl and hand Mommy her piping bags."

So Supermom (aka Amanda S.) re-frosted the cake at home, thus foiling the evil plans of the Diabolical Decorator of Doom and saving the day. (You can see she's already begun piping over the "road" in the photo there.) Good work, Supermom! Score another one for truth, justice, and sugary-baked goods for all!

Tuesday
Nov112008

Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo

What is it with monkey cupcake cakes? Bad enough that it's a cupcake cake, but then to try and make a monkey out of it? (Heh: "make a monkey out of it". I guess that's not so hard, eh? Eh?) Asking for a cute monkey CCC seems destined to failure, if you ask me.

Case in point: here's what reader Alexis P. wanted for her son Caden's 1st birthday:


Which is sort of cute, but not really; the swirl cupcakes make it look like Mr. Monkey has see-through arms and legs. That isn't the Wreck, though...

This is:


Yikes.

I can't decide if this is a monkey at a stick-up who just soiled himself (an unfortunate effect of not outlining the "tail"), or if he's another steamroller victim. Or, given that expression, I suppose he could be on some Amazon torture rack - I mean, those arms and legs are rather long...

But wait! There's more!

Aren't you curious what the birthday boy thought of his cake? Because fortunately for us Alexis captured little Caden's reaction for posterity:

Ah, I can almost hear the little shrieks of terror from here. Kinda reminds me of my own family gatherings...

Think of it this way, Alexis: without experiences like this, what will Caden talk about later in therapy? Oh, and Caden, there's always our young Wreckporter's intern program for next year.

NOTE: I've been getting some complaints about the proliferation of CCCs here on Cake Wrecks - which is kind of like complaining about all the sick people in hospitals, if you think about it. Still, I'll do my best to space them out between "real" cakes for y'all. Remember, though: if we let these silent menaces go unmentioned, bakeries might start thinking they're acceptable! We can't have that, now can we?