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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (252)

Wednesday
Nov262008

Creations That Might Possibly Be Representations of Turkeys

But the jury's still out.

You know, Amanda S., I always wondered what Davy Jones would look like as a turkey. I'd say this has got to be spot on.

Kara S., please tell me this is a baby shower cake. (Orange pacifier? Woolly bonnet? It could work.)

Ashley J. has obviously found the "angry tree demigod" species of turkey. Forget Smokey the Bear: now HERE is a mascot that will make you put those campfires out.

And Melissa G. found a...a...hm. Right, you got me. What the heck is this?

Ah, the traditional "Snake in a Flamenco Dress" turkey - of course. But where are the castanets, Erin L.?

And lastly:

Sure, ok, he looks like a turtle whose shell is on fire - no problem. The thing I can't get past are those weird Aztec-looking symbols written on the left "pumpkin's" head. After a few moments squinting at them, I suddenly realized they are supposed to be words. Check it out; it's like one of those magic eye puzzles.

And don't look now, Lynz B., but I think those Twizzlers are supposed to be feet. Won't you join me in weeping for the future of cake art?

Tuesday
Nov252008

Wrecktopia of Cornucopias

After the turkey, it's the quintessential symbol of Thanksgiving: the ol' Horn of Plenty. It's basically a cone-shaped basket filled with fruit and veggies. Everyone got the mental image? Good. Ok, let's ease 'er on into the Wreckiness, then, shall we?

Not bad, not bad - although my teeth are hurting just looking at that ginormous mound of icing, Kat K. Still, there was skill involved in the execution, and here on Wrecks - as in life - we do our best to focus purely on surface beauty. So, moving on.

Hm, we seem to be veering into "ice cream cone filled with flowers" territory, Jana. Still, not horrendous. Next?

Hey, Jessica H., are we sure this is for Thanksgiving? 'Cuz that looks like a burlap Christmas stocking.

Ack! Shiny poo pile! Keep moving, K.R.! Keep moving!

Ah, this is better. A nice, comfy shag rug. Although, what's that on the side?

Oh heck no, Jill S., they did NOT just ice all over the sides of those paper wrappers, did they? Well, there went the whole "Cupcake-cakes aren't as messy" argument. Plus, with those candy corns and green squigglies and all, it looks like someone upchucked over the edge. Yelch.

Of course, you could go to the other extreme:

Jaime L., these cupcakes aren't all iced together into one solid mass, which means two things:
1) By my definition, it's not *technically* a cupcake cake - maybe more like a "cupcake mosaic". A really lazy mosaic, sure, but still not as evil as a CCC.
2) By anyone's definition, it's not *technically* decorated. A scattering of plastic flotsam does not a decorated cake make.

And speaking of cupcake cakes: some of you took me to task yesterday for failing to point out the CCCs in the Fall Fumbles line up. And yet, when I DO hold up those wrecktastic creations for the derision they are so rightly due, others of you complain that I'm harping on CCCs too much. It's like my own personal Kobayashi Maru, honestly. Anyway, rest assured, dear readers, that my left eye continues to twitch uncontrollably with every CCC posting whether I point out its inherent structural deformity or not.