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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (253)

Friday
Nov212008

Turkeys

With Thanksgiving approaching, bakeries across the nation are churning out turkeys just as fast as they can.

Er, turkey cakes, I mean. Yeah.

I'm not sure who is more confused: me or the decorator who made this:

First I see a weird smiley face whose hair is on fire. Then I see... no, wait - sorry, that's all I see.

Despite the fact that these look like electrified squirrels with blazing tails, they're actually sort of cute. In a frantic, somebody-get-me-a-bucket-of-water kind of way, I mean.

Of course, then there's the turkey who's already been extinguished [smirk]:


(That's a brownie, not a cake. Pretty soon bakeries are going to start "decorating" our loaves of bread, if we're not careful.)

Unless you're eating at a restaurant at the end of the universe, I'm pretty sure your food should never talk to you - much less advocate your imbibing its flesh. Yech.

Then again:


Maybe it's worse when the thing is pleading with you NOT to eat it.

"Thing" being the operative word here, since this looks like the result of craft time at the local preschool. All it's missing is a construction paper hand-tracing for a tail, and maybe a bunch of glitter.

(Hey, now, put that glitter down, Wreckerators; I didn't mean to give you any ideas!)

Thanks to Jessi W., Jocelyn M., Delielah R., and Bonnie B.!

Tuesday
Nov182008

Supermom VS the Diabolical Decorator of Doom

And now it's time for another installment of.... SUPERMOM!!

[Duh da daaa! Da da da ta da DAAAA!]

This week, Supermom plans out little Annie's birthday party.

Annie: "Wow, Supermom, my birthday decorations look fantastic! This is going to be the coolest Wizard of Oz party EVER!"


Supermom: "Oh, it was nothing, really. After I finished all of the laundry, balanced the checkbook, and then reworked my dissertation on the ending of world hunger, I had plenty of time!"

Annie: "Oh, wow, are those cookies for the party, too?"


Supermom: "They sure are! It took four days, and I had to stay up all night hand-piping the little rainbows, but all that time and effort were well worth seeing the smile on your darling face. And just wait 'til you see the great Yellow Brick Road cake I ordered! Your father should be here with it any minute..."

Meanwhile, at the Bakery of Badness:

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: "What's this? Supermom has ordered a Wizard of Oz birthday cake for her daughter? Hee-hee! Oh, this is too perfect! Finally, revenge will be MINE!!!"

Diabolical Sidekick: "What will you do, oh Great Bastion of Badness? Oh Foul Foiler of Fondant? Oh Illustrious Icer of Ickines, Dastardly Decorator of Destruction, and Cruel Crafter of..."

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [interrupting] "Do shut up, Sidekick; I'm trying to think."

Diabolical Sidekick: "A thousand apologies, Oh Putrescent Purveyor of Pastries!"

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [rubbing hands together] "Now, the trick is to make something so vile, so heinous, that no one will ever, EVER think it is a yellow brick road with a rainbow over it. But how? What tool in my arsenal is capable of such complete and utter hideousness?

"AHA! I've got it! Diabolical Sidekick, fetch me the Airbrush of Atrocity!"

Later, back at the party:


[Silence]

Annie: [sobbing] "My Yellow Brick Road cake! It looks like an old squished banana! And why does it dead end in a river? And is THAT supposed to be a rainbow?!?"

Supermom: "Never fear, dear daughter: Supermom is here! Now be a good girl and hand Mommy her piping bags."

So Supermom (aka Amanda S.) re-frosted the cake at home, thus foiling the evil plans of the Diabolical Decorator of Doom and saving the day. (You can see she's already begun piping over the "road" in the photo there.) Good work, Supermom! Score another one for truth, justice, and sugary-baked goods for all!