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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (258)

Monday
Oct132008

Like THIS, Not Like THAT

Fellow Cake lovers, I've come to a crisis of conscience.

You all know my stance on cupcake-cakes, and it's a stance that I thought nothing, no matter how delightfully sugar-encrusted, could change.

Then, Wreckporter Iliea S. sent me this photo:


And I have to admit, my friends, I am torn. Torn, like an old sweater! You see, yes, this is a cupcake cake. Yes, it is that crime-against-nature shade of blue, destined to stain, well, everything. By all rights I should treat this "cake" with contempt and move on.

And yet... and yet... I LIKE IT! I really do! I think the googly eyes are adorable! I even caught myself fantasizing about making this for John's birthday in a few weeks! ACK!

There, I said it. [shifty eyes] Now I feel like I need to go to cake confession or something.

Ah, but this post wouldn't be a complete without a Wreck, would it? So if I can't bring myself to label the above CCC a Wreck, I'll just have to go with...

This one!


Woohoo! Now, here the world has returned to its natural order, 'cuz this sucker is as Wrecktastic as CCCs come. Are those side wings supposed to be jowls, or arms? Huh. [head tilt] Well, considering there are cookies impaled in them, I'm going to have to guess 'arms'.

Now, those cookies in the middle - are those supposed to be lips, or is Cookie Monster just choking to death? I mean, overall he does kind of have that death-throes look about him, doesn't he? Still, I wouldn't even want to guess what the white icing in the middle is supposed to be - teeth? Foam? (Ewww.)

And while I'm at it, I really should throw these guys in:

It's a whole host of choking cookie monsters! And Kate S., I DO see the difference, I really do.

And look at this: apparently there are lots of decorators out there who have bad childhood memories of Mr. Monster:

Not only do these guys have a pleading look of terror on their faces, they also have their mouths stitched...open? Wait, that can't be right. What is that, then, a mustache? Oh, and would you please get a load of the icing to cupcake ratio? I mean, daaaang.

Sonya G., did you put them out of their misery?

Thursday
Oct092008

What's Better Than a Hockey Wreck?


That's right: a FREE hockey Wreck.

Now, I know nothing about hockey. I would not even know this cake was hockey-related if the word 'hockey' wasn't on there. So I asked my hubby John, and he was only too happy to explain the whole game for me. And you know what? It's actually kind of interesting! So for the benefit of you other non-sports types, here's a quick rundown:

See, apparently they play this sport on ice - but they have to make sure the ice is really thick, or else their cleats will scuff it all up. The players wear lots of padding and helmets, and carry little butterfly nets on sticks with which to hit the ball around. The object of the game is to score a triple Hail Mary - which is just another name for a running slam dunk - and consists of knocking three other players down while simultaneously dunking the ball through one of the red rings. Players known as running backs try to kick the ball, but the other team's catchers use their heads and butterfly nets to deflect the ball away from their side's field goal. Any running backs who are able to push the other team's running backs out of the big circle in the middle get what's called a free throw, in which they're allowed to chuck the ball at the head of their least favorite player. If they miss, their team only scores a half-down, but if the ball hits the other player, they score a hole-in-one.

There was also some stuff about yard lines, birdies, and triple-axles, but I kind of zoned out at that point. Still, I think I just may have to check out a hockey game some day; John tells me every time the pitcher serves a kill-shot, the mascot serves hot chocolate. How cool is that?!?