A Cake Wrecks Correspondence

"A Typical Day Of John Checking E-Mail"

Dear [REDACTED],

Thank you for choosing Cake Wrecks for such an important occasion! I'd be delighted to offer you a quote, but first let me show you a few of our most popular Sesame Street cakes, so you can pick out your favorite.

(Please note that for copyright reasons we can't actually call these Sesame Street characters, but I'm sure our versions will look VERY familiar. ;))

"Huge Bird"

"Oreo Monster"

"Trash Head"
aka "Mr. Can-'Do"

And "Petrified Elro"

Or for a little extra, you can get all four characters together!

[plastic faces not included]

We also have some new "Bieber-licious" character cookies your son is sure to love:

Prices vary depending on the cake's size, flavor, and age, so just let us know how many people you'd like to feed and how picky you are about "freshness." Delivery is free within a twenty mile radius, but keep in mind our delivery guy moonlights as a mobile pet groomer, so there's always a SLIGHT chance of pet hair - but really, that almost never happens. (Which reminds me: Billy gives our customers a 15% discount! Just FYI.)

Let me know which cake you'd prefer, and thanks again for choosing Cake Wrecks!

- john (the hubby of Jen)

***

Thanks to Todd T, Julie B., David & Debbie B., Jennifer G., Anony M., & Cynthia for actually making it through our contact page without thinking we make all these cakes ourselves.

Get Used To (More) Disappointment

What's that? You want more "Missed Marks" wrecks?

AS YOU WISH.

First up, Randee C. ordered this simple zebra-stripe cake from her local bakery:

... and ended up with something only a finger-painting preschooler could love:

Zebras of unusual stripes?
I don't think they exist.

Next, Tahneea made two notable discoveries: first, this gorgeous cake:

There's a shortage of perfect ruffles in the world. 'Twould be a pity to damage yours.

And second, a use for leftover coffee filters!

 

"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six hundred coffee filters on hand?"

"Do you always begin conversations this way?"

"YUP." 

And finally, Mel D. ordered this beauty for her wedding:

She tells me her baker showed her an impressive portfolio of gorgeous cakes, which made the final reveal on her big day that much more, well, you know ...

INCONCEIVABLE.

And ... EMBIGGIFY!

On the plus side, that silver glitter really clumps together nicely.

Bye bye, brides! Have fun ordering your cakes!

("Think they'll be wrecks?"

"If not, it'll be a miracle.") 

 

BYEEE!