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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (249)

Friday
Jun202014

Our World Cup Runneth Over

Bakers, let's talk about soccer.

Because of all your balls...

...the soccer ball seems to be the most difficult for you guys to grasp.

 

And believe me, when it comes to ball grasping...

...we want you to have a firm grip on the situation.

(John: "Uh, I think that's supposed to be a basketball cou..."
Me: "SHHHH.")

 

For example, some of your balls are too fuzzy:

 

While others are lumpy and uneven:

 

Some of your balls are too small:

 

And others... well... are they supposed to be that color?

 

Look, bakers, we know that Soccer balls come in all shapes and sizes, and each is uniquely beautiful in its own way.

Unless it's this way:

Seriously, man, put that away. You're just embarrassing yourself.

 

And to all you World Cup fans out there:

Hang loose, you crazy nuts, you!

 

Thanks go Andrea C., Jennipher D., Charesse, Becky N., Diane L., Amy N., Abi H., & Ilana W. for the balls-to-the-wall excitement.

*****

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Friday
Jun062014

Ode To Honest Wreckers

We've all seen it.

So.

 

Many.

 

Times.

Bakers with delusions of competency.

Yes, these professionals lure in clients with pretty pictures and promises, only to shatter their pastry pipe dreams with poor planning and pathetic, um... skills.

 

That's why I'd like to thank all the bakers out there who proudly let their wreck flags fly, showing us exactly what to expect when we order from them.

In fact, I wrote you a poem, honest bakers.

[ahem hem hem]

Thank you for your honesty
In building your display

Your heap of melty sugar
Should scare us all away

 

And thanks for making it easy
To choose another store

Not that I don't appreciate
Some good ol' fashioned gore

 

Thanks for guiding blushing brides
With wisdom past their years:

That any wedding cake from you
Will only end in tears.

 

And thanks for being straightforward,
I expected nothing less.

You put it all right out there
With your drippy race car mess.

 

Thanks to you for having
the courage to admit

That when you try to decorate
It's going to look like... really, really bad.

 

Thanks to Lesley B., Laura S., Anony M., Tiffany M., Martha C., & Jenna M. for dropping a load of truth on us.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.