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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (355)

Tuesday
May022017

Flows Like The Wrinkly, Tied-Together Bed Sheets Of A Tower Escapee

Bride-to-be Melissa spent a total of 8 hours before her wedding consulting with her baker, literally painting a picture of her dream garden cake with its cascading sugar waterfalls:

Melissa supplied all the miniature accessories: benches, bird baths, etc - so the baker only had to make the garden and waterfall parts on the multi-tiered cake.

On the Big Day Melissa was aghast to discover that:

A) there was no garden - not a stitch of green icing anywhere

B) in fact, the ONLY decorations were the miniatures Melissa herself had provided, with the exception of

C) the waterfall, which looked... like this:

[wincing] Ooh. There's a slight wrinkle.

Melissa would also like me to point out the "pond" on the bottom, which the baker converted into an above-ground pool. An above ground pool with a giant flannel scarf dangling in it. Dangle dangle dangle. Yeah. Like that.

 

Thanks and sympathies to Melissa, who says this STILL isn't water under the bridge. It's more like dirty laundry under the bridge, which someone brought to her wedding, and then charged her several hundred dollars for.

*****

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Monday
Apr102017

Trace Amounts Of Wreckage

Remember those old drawing contests they used to advertise in the backs of magazines? The ones with a picture of a turtle or a pirate you were supposed to copy?

Well, Melissa decided to try that route with her bakery. She gave them this picture of a frog and asked them to copy it:

 

Aaaand...

Ouch.

Don't worry though, bakers; I still see artistic potential here. In fact, if you send me money every month I'll continue critiquing your work FOR FREE. Eh?

 

And if you believe that one, here's another:

Samira ordered this giant cupcake (made of smaller cupcakes and apparently photographed with a potato), and here's the crazy thing: she was told she would actually GET that cake.

Bahahahaha!

I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh. It's just, I've seen the next picture.

 

Ready?

Sha-POW.

Seriously, minions, don't order cupcake cakes (patooie!) - and never EVER order a cupcake cupcake cake. I think it breaks the space time continuum.

 

And lastly, Kristy gave her bakery this napkin to match for a baby shower cake:

The bakery then did something I've never seen before.

That's right, you guys, this is a first!

The bakery started with an edible image - which looked fine - but then traced over the image with icing, resulting in the kind of nightmare fuel you don't generally see outside of Five Nights At Freddy's:

The longer you look, the scarier it gets.

Plus I like how the baker just stopped about 80% of the way through. Like, "WHELP THAT'S RUINED, guess I'll just leave the palm leaves and border and donkey face off now." o.0

 

Thanks to Melissa G., Sarah H.,& Kristy H. for reminding there is ALWAYS a new way to wreck it. Always.

*****

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