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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (315)

Tuesday
Apr192016

That's My Wreck, NACHOS

If you frequent Pinterest you've probably seen these Sweet campfire cakes going around:

 

These are relatively simple, fun designs made with chocolate icing, Pirouette cookies, and hard sugar "flames." Some folks also add toasted marshmallows:

(By Shower of Roses)

So pretty!

 

Now, you're supposed to melt down butterscotch and cinnamon candies to make those flames, but one bakery decided ain't nobody got time for that, and swapped them out for the PERFECT SUBSTITUTE:

Nacho Cheese Doritos.

Doritos?

Yes, DORITOS.

"Aw, but Jem," you're thinking, because you've once again confused me for an outrageous cartoon rock star - and I'll be honest, I ain't mad - "But Jem, look how cheap it is! A little stale cheese dust in our chocolate icing isn't so bad for less than 13 smackeroos, right?"

OH CON-TRARE, my hopefully French-illiterate friend.*

[*By which I mean illiterate in French, not from France and illiterate. Though if you are illiterate and from France you can't read this anyway, so just BE COOL, friends-of-illiterate-French-people, and don't go telling them Jem's talking smack, 'cuz JEM DON'T PLAY THAT.]

Look a little closer at that label:

"Plus cost of candy & chips."

PLUS!?

Yeeeeah, Jem don't play that either, bakers.

 

Thanks to Mackensie C. for the sick burn.

*****

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Wednesday
Apr132016

Darth Vader Gets Wrecked

A few days ago, the new trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story came out and people are speculating that Darth Vader may be in it. (Woohoo!) So of course I have to honor the occasion the best way I know how:

 ...by mercilessly mocking Darth Vader cakes.

 This one, for example, looks like a codfish. 

Granted, I don't actually know what a codfish looks like, but I imagine it must be kind of silly and wet-looking, which makes them practically twins.

 

And this one fits "scruffy-looking nerf herder" to a T:

Wait - I just realized there's no "t" in "scruffy-looking nerf herder."

Ok, it fits it to a "scruffy-looking"

 

When I was a kid I found this nifty stone-texture spray paint at Home Depot, and proceeded to paint everything I could get my hands on, including my room's wall switches, door handles, and lamps. My parents were lucky people, y'all. Anyway, apparently this baker had the same fascination:

But at least this one is icing. So you really can't take it for granite.

(HEYO.)

 

Speaking of stone, I'm not sure what happened to this Darth:

...but it looks like he's having an avalanche.

 

And here's the one they found flattened under the rubble:

Ouch.

 

This is technically the best Darth of the bunch, and that's really saying something:

Something about sweat, and tears, and purple poo.

(Oh, you've never eaten a bunch of black fondant before? Then never mind.)

 

I saved my favorite for last, of course.

("I've got a bad feeling about this...")

Presenting....

Darth Droopy!

"Heavy bweathing."

You know what? That makes me sad.

 

Oh, and if you haven't seen the trailer yet, you can check it out here.

So. Excited.

!!!

 :D

 

Hey Heather S.,  Arielle C., Luci, Brenda J., Clare, Leah S., & Julie Anne D., who's your daddy?

*****

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