My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (316)


All Hands On Wreck: Pirate Ship Wedding Cake A Sight For Sore "Ayes"

Today's bride had an interesting request for her wedding: she wanted a pirate ship for the cake.

The baker was totally onboard, though, [snerk] and even sent over this inspiration picture so the bride would know what to expect on her Big Day.

You're seeing it now, right? All white, roses... I'll be darned if this isn't pretty elegant!


Ahh, but trim the sails and lash the rigging, ye scurvy dawgs, 'cuz here comes the actual wedding cake our anonymous bride got instead:


Now that's a cake for private tears.

(Privateers? Eh? EH?)

You know, I could almost forgive the general fold-out-sofa-bed-on-blue-shag-carpet vibe going on here, but I cannot - CANNOT - get past those hysterical little "sails." Seriously. The longer you look at them, the funnier it gets. Like a hippo using a moist towelette square to preserve her modesty.

And that mental image you're having right now? Still not as funny as those sails.


Thanks to my anonymous bride minion, who I'm pretty sure is why the rum is gone. But hey, who could blame her?


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That's My Wreck, NACHOS

If you frequent Pinterest you've probably seen these Sweet campfire cakes going around:


These are relatively simple, fun designs made with chocolate icing, Pirouette cookies, and hard sugar "flames." Some folks also add toasted marshmallows:

(By Shower of Roses)

So pretty!


Now, you're supposed to melt down butterscotch and cinnamon candies to make those flames, but one bakery decided ain't nobody got time for that, and swapped them out for the PERFECT SUBSTITUTE:

Nacho Cheese Doritos.



"Aw, but Jem," you're thinking, because you've once again confused me for an outrageous cartoon rock star - and I'll be honest, I ain't mad - "But Jem, look how cheap it is! A little stale cheese dust in our chocolate icing isn't so bad for less than 13 smackeroos, right?"

OH CON-TRARE, my hopefully French-illiterate friend.*

[*By which I mean illiterate in French, not from France and illiterate. Though if you are illiterate and from France you can't read this anyway, so just BE COOL, friends-of-illiterate-French-people, and don't go telling them Jem's talking smack, 'cuz JEM DON'T PLAY THAT.]

Look a little closer at that label:

"Plus cost of candy & chips."


Yeeeeah, Jem don't play that either, bakers.


Thanks to Mackensie C. for the sick burn.


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