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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (235)

Tuesday
Oct152013

Balloony Bologna

Ahh, balloons. Those colorful, cheerful staples of the classic birthday cake.

And why wouldn't they be? They're so colorful!

 

And so cheerful!

[glopping noise]

 

And so... um...

Ok, bakers, we need to talk.

 

I never thought it'd be possible to forget what a balloon looks like, but apparently most of you have:

Two things:

1) Balloons generally only require one string each.

2) CHANGE YOUR PIPING TIP, YOU LAZY BUM.

 

Look, I'm just a girl, standing in front of a baker, asking that baker to stop butchering my birthday cake balloons already.

 

And while we're at it, could you maybe stop scalping grannies?

(Tell me you don't see a bunch of pastel hair buns here. TELL ME.)

 

And don't get me started on all the "little swimmer" balloons out there:

I see what you did there with that "i." EGGSELLENT.

 

But most importantly, NO CHEATING.

Or at least cheat better. Yeesh.

 

Thanks to Kevin C., Brittany F., Meredith G., Kimberly P., Robin L., Christie S., Veronica S., & Anony M. for appreciating the gravity of the situation.

Wednesday
Oct022013

Peace Out

Imagine these are peace signs

It's easy if you squint

No need to wonder
Look, here's another hint:

Imagine all the bakers
Failing in this way:

*headdesk*

(Ow OW owww ow ow ow...)

 

Imagine education
It isn't hard to do
Hey, look, this is a peace sign:

Is that so hard for you?

 

Imagine all the people!
Asking, "what's with the Ys?"

(Why WHY why why whyyy?)

 

You may saaay I'm a screamer

(No, no, noooo!)

 

But that's not the only one

(Ah, ah, AAAAAAH)

 

I hope some day they'll wise up

(Theeey neverrrr wiiiilll)

 

But 'til theeeen
This piece is done!


Thanks to Amy K., Tracy S., Chris H., Lauri K., Angi, Lindsey S., Cheryl N., Kim Z., & Daisy, who think Mercedes should give me a kickback for this post. AND I AGREE.