My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (321)



You know what makes a date like 11/11/11 even MORE "magical"?

A cake shaped like a beautiful leather-bound book of spells, of course!

Er... hang on, I have the right incantation around here somewhere...

A-ha! Here it is!

"Expecto Vomitorium!"


I can see you're speechless.

I tend to have that effect on people.


And now, using only the powers of my mind, I will summon forth...


the groom's underwear!


Well, well, well.

I see they don't call him "The Texas Longhorn" for nuthin'. [wink]


Speaking of which, have you met my trusty familiar, the frog formerly known as "Prince?"

He's a naughty little thing, that frog; lately he's taken to robbing nunneries.

Try as I might, I just can't seem to get him out of the habit.


Now, I know what you're thinking: "my gosh, that was a fabulous pun."

Yes, yes it was.

However, you may also be thinking my froggy familiar looks more like an octopus.

Well, he's not.

In fact, every time I try to summon an octopus I just get one of these:

Yeah. The Spirit World thinks it's a real "komeedianne."


Thanks to wiz kids Maddison S., Pete & Erica, Kristen J, & Lisa H., who'd rather pretend they didn't see that.


Keen for Quinoa

Bakers, I think you need to see this.

This, my friends, is a turkey.


Now, I know this comes as a shock. After all, you've been lied to all these years! But then, how could you possibly have known that turkeys actually DON'T all come in cans?

Now that's what we call a "can-doo" attitude!


In fact, when you think about it, it's really only natural to assume a turkey with a head injury bleeds rainbows:


Or that baby turkeys are cute enough to turn even hardened carnivores into raw vegans:

"Please, sir, might you consider the tofurkey this year? I hear it's lovely with a bit of quinoa."


Of course, some of you chose to model your turkeys on other things.

Like flamingos...


Or your least favorite cousin...


Or, from the looks of things, your last colonoscopy:

"Personally, I've taken a shine to the 'frizzy fecal' style."


Still, the good news is you bakers have always known exactly what a turkey sounds like:

Honestly, it's uncanny.


Thanks to Scott A., Kathryn S., Beth P., D.W., Dion H., Karen, & Mike B. for inspiring me to shout "gooble gooble!" at every lawn flamingo I see. That's right, neighbors, who's the "antisocial recluse" now? Huh? HUH?!