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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (355)

Monday
Aug062012

In Honor of the 2012 Olympic Games

Olympic fever has swept the world again, reminding us all just how rewarding perseverance, determination, and a comfy recliner can be while we're stuffing our faces in front of the television.

I also like to yell critiques at the athletes during these times, because I enjoy both the irony and the frightened look John gives me when he reminds me the TV isn't on yet.

To this I say: "P'FFAW!" (It would have been "P'SHAW," but my mouth was full.) I don't need to actually WATCH the Olympics to get in the Olympic spirit!

After all, I have this:

The Olympic Dots.

 

Technically those are supposed to be rings, though.

 Thank you.

 

You know, as off-the-mark as those two are, they're still less sad than this "correct" version:

 

 Feel the spirit, y'all. Woo. Go. Win. Or whatever.

 

At least that one got the rings in the right order, though, and isn't made out of Scrapple:

Or is it peanut brittle? 

[head tilt]

Nah, that's totally Scrapple, in my book.

 

I don't know if this was supposed to be an Olympic cake or not, but let's just assume it was so I can keep laughing, k?

 

It's that or Christmas condoms. Or maybe both? Oh, wait! I HAVE A JOKE FOR THAT: 

 "Something something pole-vaulting." 

(I'm going for the [comedy] GOLD!)

 

Ok, enough rings. Let's try some Olympic weights:

I especially like how the baker added that poo-like rope border for accuracy. Um... What is this supposed to be, again?

[Note: John and I just argued over whether or not the baker intentionally covered up the writing on the bottom tiers. He says yes. I say his overt optimism is pooping on my wrecky parade.]

 

Maybe it would help if bakers didn't have any visuals to worry about, and just stuck with words:

Nope.

 

Right. Back to the rings, then.

HISTORY FLASH: According to Wikipedia, the repository of all knowledge that is accurate and true, (Est. 1904), the Olympic Rings were designed in 1912 by Baron Pierre de Coubertin, who stated that their colors represent "the colours of all the nations, with no exception."

ANNNNYWAY.

 

After that it seems almost petty to point out that there's not supposed to be an orange ring, but what can I say? I'm out to make Tom proud.

And I won't. back. down.

Also, I'm pretty sure this wreck's days are numbered. Incorrectly.

 

Thanks to Marcy B.,  Julie S., Amanda M., Liz, Beth K., Charlene, Angi H., Melissa R., & Callie B. for catching Olympic fever with me. Feel better soon, guys!

Tuesday
Jul242012

Fetch Me A Hammer, 'Cuz I'm Gonna NAIL THIS

I just realized that the term "nailed it!" can have two meanings. Well, three. But despite my naughty word outburst yesterday, this IS still a mostly family-friendly establishment, and the third meaning is a little TOO family-friendly, IF you KNOW what I'm SAYING.

Sorry, my caps lock HAS DEVELOPED A MIND of its OWN.

AND I'VE ALSO BEEN DRINKING.

Where was I?

No, I mean yesterday: where was I? Because I'm guessing these feathers came from somewhere.

Perhaps I should start again.

So. "Nailed it." It can mean, "What ho! I have successfully accomplished my intended endeavor!" *OR* it can mean you hit something with your car.

Pay attention now, because this is a very long setup for a very flat punchline:

NAILED IT.

 

THANKS TO ANN LEE, who I'm hoping can tell me what kind of bird sheds strawberry-scented feathers. And glitter. And...oh. Waaaaiiit....