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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (341)

Tuesday
Apr242012

BALLS

Attn parents: Sports-related double entendres ahead! Proceed with caution!

 

The other morning (and by "morning" I mean "afternoon") John woke up with a pain in half his tiddlywinks. (And by "tiddlywinks" I mean..."tiddlywinks.") He's fine now, so not to worry; those are all the gory details you're going to get.

Well, unless you count the fact that today's post is all about wrecked balls. Call it a subconscious thing. Or my way of getting way too much mileage out of some good-natured ribbing.

 

So...

 

Balls.

 

They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. But no matter what, balls have at least one thing in common: they're generally supposed to be more round than lumpy:

Now that's just nutty.

 

One exception, of course, is the football, which is shaped more like a loaf of bread with harp strings:

I guess some balls are just more likely to touchdown than others.

 

I'm told this is either a soccer ball or a steamrolled panda:

Ain't that a kick to the head?

 

And don't get me STARTED on this "basketball:"

Slam dunk? More like a Slam FLUNK. 

[rimshot!]

 

Sometimes it helps to put your balls with other related pieces of equipment. That way people will know how to handle them.

All that's missing is third base. 

 

And of course no discussion of balls is complete without...um...hang on. Is this what I think it is?

It is!

Bakers, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

That flaming basketball is totally not to scale!


(So tell me, players: Do you experience a burning sensation when you dribble?)

 

Thanks to Natalie B., Dolores T., Rachel J., Erica B.,  Heather F.,  & Lauren P.,  who will no doubt agree that if John's going to sit and play Xbox for 27 hours straight, he should probably get some looser boxers.

Friday
Apr202012

Cake Wrecks Gets the Munchies

"Dude! Did you know that today is, like, International Pot Day?"

"Whoa, righteous! But...I thought that was every day."

"Well, sure, for hoopy froods like us, but today it's, like, totally legal and stuff!"*

"No way!"

"Way!"

"Dude. Wait'll we tell the boss."

 

[Later]

 

"Ok, check it: The mighty Zorro, being stalked by a giant Mars rock, faces off against the evil Christmas present of Doom!"

"Da... na... naaaah!"

 

"Awwwwesome. And look: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Pooperman!"

"Haha! Naasty!" [high-fiving]

"Uh-oh, dude... I think I got some food coloring up my no...

AAAAAPLOOOIEEE!!"

"Oops. Aw, man... that's not right.

[looking at cake]

We should name it."

"Ooh, I got this! Wait. Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait. We should call it...um...

"What were we talking about?"

 

"Chad! Todd! How are those animal cakes coming back there? We've got a cupcake cake quota to fill!"

"Uh...We'll get right on it, Mr. Nerfburgler!"

[whispering] "Dude. I just realized: Mr. Nerfburgler's name...IS MR. NERFBURGLER."

"BWAHHAHAHAHAA!"

[Four hours later]

"Ok. Check it out. I made a giraffe:"

"Gnarly."

 

"And here's my totally righteous seagull!"

"Compadré, you inspire me."

 

"And, dude, how do you like my two-headed Decepticon?"

[gasping] "With the laser-guided scorpion tail and optional water-mode inflatables?!"

"OF COURSE."

"I am, like, SO not worthy."

"Ah, but that's nothing, my good dude. Are you ready for the best cake OF. ALL. TIME?!

 

"Preeeeesenting: Donatello, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

"After a Shredder shredding, of course"

"Whoa!"

"Yeah!"

"Whoa!"

"Yeah!"

[pause]

"Dude, I am seriously jonesing for some snackage. What say we make some cupcakes for the display case now?"

"So with you, dude."

 

Thanks to Jacquie B., Moriah V., Amber, Sarah L., Adrienne K., Tracy M., Casey L., and Caryol B., who all know that it is definitely NOT legal to do drugs today or any day, and that most of what we post here on Cake Wrecks probably was NOT made by stoners. Which, if you think about it, is actually a lot MORE disturbing.