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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (362)

Thursday
Sep272012

Birch, Please.

 

 Me: AAAUUGH! BWAHAHAAA!

John: What? [seeing cake] What IS that?

Me: [laughing]

John: Is it a cow? Buried face down?

Me: [still laughing]

John: Wait, no, I think it's a tree. A birch tree.

Me: [shrill cackling punctuated by honking, bugle-like snorts]

John: Is there a two-liter in that thing? Seriously, look; I think there's a soda bottle in there! Jen?

Me: [wiping eyes] Oh, so you're saying it's all bark and no bite?

John: Ug, that's terrible. We need some good puns.

Me: Hey, if you don't like my puns, you can make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.

John: That's it. No more Back to the Future marathons for you.

Me: Awww. You are my density, baby.

 

Thanks to Amanda C. for proving there's nothing shady at all about a tree stump with two limbs.

Thursday
Sep202012

MASS HYSTERIA

Based on the wrecks I see each day, I'm starting to think most decorators are completely incapable of making a cake that looks like an animal. Any animal. In fact, I'm not entirely sure any of them have  ever actually seen an animal. So as a public service, let's do a little review:

 

This... is a duck.

 

This... is not a duck.

[tilting head]

Nope.  Not a duck.

 

This is a baby porcupine:

 I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to nuzzle him.

 

This is a baby Darth Maul:

I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to eat his face.


This is a dog:

 You can tell because it looks a lot like a dog.

 

This... is a lemon... poodle...

OF DOOM!!!

(It's a new breed.)

 

These are swans:

They're totally necking.

(Hey, Jen! I made a pun!)

 

These are the fabled Golden Anteaters of Madagascar:

I like to think they just finished slurping a spaghetti noodle.

 

 And finally, this is an elephant:

"Talk about your trunk space, check this action out!"

 

And this is the crumple-horned snorkack:

"Fabulous, Harry, I love the crumples."

 

Thanks to Sarah A., Vanessa D., Carissa, Terri C., and Jared S., who know it's not easy making an Aladdin/Harry Potter mashup joke, but that's just the kind of dedication we have here at CW.