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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (315)

Friday
Aug052011

National *yawn* Golf Month

Contrary to popular belief, golf is not a complete waste of time. Many people, for example, use golf as a means to rid themselves of cumbersome money. Other, more talented players, actually use it as a means to rid themselves of cumbersome marriages.



"Just getting the Tiger's eye view, dear!"

Still, whatever your reasons, golf can be an "entertaining," "exciting," and "fun" "sport."

So let's look at some golf cakes, shall we?



Now, the object of golf is to hit a tiny ball...

...off a large pile of crap. This is known as the "drop shot."


Next, assuming that you manage to hit the ball, you may end up on "the green."

So lush.

Now, golf courses come in all shapes and sizes, which allows for a wide range of difficulty, scenery, and funny faces:


"The good news is you've got a nice straight shot.

"The bad news is that ball is to scale."

Which reminds me: would you believe the term "lead foot" originated in golf?


If so, then let me tell you the one about the goofy cake blogger who knew obscure factoids about sports.

Every golfer worth his pom-pom hat/argyle knee-socks/plaid bloomers knows the importance of a great golf bag:

Which is apparently what this is.

In fact, this style of bag is known as the "Schweitzer Bag," named after the famous German golfer, Albert Bag.

And finally, let's go over some essential golf terminology:

Fore = what you yell before you whack someone with a golf ball.

For = how you indicate who gets the ugly golf cake.

"Four" = *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

Golf claps all 'round to wreckporters Brandi T., Lauren F., Sam, Zakes C., K Eva., Stephanie, and Amelia B.

Wednesday
Aug032011

Vehicular Cakeslaughter

Every now and then - and I'm not saying this happens often - professional bakers have a little trouble making cakes that look like...well, anything. (See examples here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here .)

Perhaps hardest of all is the vehicle cake. There's just something about all those shapes and circles and squares that drives even the most hardened Shop-a-Lot Davinci to edible clip art with the watermarks still on:

Now, if only we had a picture of chocolate drizzle and sprinkles...

So let's say you want KITT from Knight Rider on your cake:

Binka binka binka binka dinka binka dinka binka...

[That was me singing the theme song. Obviously.]

Rather than attempt the entire car, your baker might try to home in on KITT's most distinguishing feature:

The ketchup-and-mustard smear under his seat.


Or how about this tractor?

At first glance, you might think this could be broken down into a simple drawing of two boxes on two wheels.

BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG.

It's an extremely complicated design, and rendering it in icing is so unbelievably difficult that the finished product would be far beyond the bounds of mere mortal comprehension.

Yeah. Like that.


And finally, let's say your child wants a school bus cake:

(Oh, you know this is going to be good.)


You might end up with this:

It's not short. It's "fun sized!"

Thanks to Andie K., Brooke & Mike K., Lea B., & Pete H. for keeping us on track today.