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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (376)

Monday
Jan072013

The Top Ten Football Cake Fumbles 

It's about that time of year again, guys! 

You know, the time for lots of these: 

Yep, sections of train track on small hills. Choo choo!!

 

No, wait, I'm sorry, I meant the time for spinal cords in shallow graves:

And speaking of graves...

 

I bet this wreckerator is a real casket case.

 

Sometimes after a long hard day, you just want a cake that's had the ever-loving crap beaten out of it, know what I mean?

Booyah. Wish = granted.

 

Question: Does this look like a pair of lips painted like a basketball, or will 28 of you be too distracted wondering what "WILL 28" means to notice?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

 

I call this next one "The Thing That Looks Like A Triangular Hamburger Bun."

It's a literal work.

 

And this, "The Plague O'er The Land."

Step 1: Bring to a boil

Step 2: Serve cold to enemies and/or the neighbor's kids

 

"The Invisible Ball"

See what I did there?

 

"My Ugly Crazy Lumps"

 Because nothing expresses your ardent fandom quite like a hearty, "GO TEAM." (Hey bakers, if I spring for the sheet cake do you think I could get, "THE PLAYERS CURRENTLY PLAYING ARE MY FAVORITES IN ALL OF [INSERT SPORT HERE]"?)

(PS. Behold the awesomeness that is my punctuation ending that last sentence. BEHOLD IT.)

 

 And finally, "The Pig Skin Chia Pet."

"ChaChaCha I am so not eating that."

 

Thanks to Jeff C., Jessica, Rachael, John L., Shellie B., Laura H., Cassidy, Seamus, Anony M., & Sandi for the home runs.

Thursday
Jan032013

Great Expectations

I know we all love wedding wrecks with a schadenfreude-filled passion, but when it comes to what-they-wanted vs. what-they-got wrecks, believe me, it's not just wedding cakes:

 

You know those days when you wonder why you even bothered showing up for work? 

That's the top tier on the right.

 

 Ammi T. hoped to find a friend in her baker when she ordered this Toy Story-inspired Woody cake:

But instead she went to fecality, and beyond:

 

It's like two poop ropes shaking hands.

In fact, I think we're going to need a rear view on this one, don't you? [nodding] Yeah.

Turn 'er around, boys!

 

Hoo-WHEE! Saggy.

 

 Now, to be fair, I'm not sure how anyone would go about recreating this next cake exactly:

 (What is that, printable fondant? It sure doesn't look like paper...)

 But regardless, this isn't it:

 

That moment when you realize the awful Pooh picnic wreck is an engagement cake.

 

 

And finally, Virginia K. wanted this shaped number cake for her eighteenth birthday:

 

 But instead, she celebrated her legal coming of age - and all its unlimited litigation possibilities - with this:

So many things to say, but I keep coming back to those color choices. "Ok, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking EARTHWORMS and MINT ICE CREAM. Can we make that happen? Yes? AWESOME."

 

Thanks to Rebecca, Ammi T., Anony M., &Virginia K. for that horrifying mental image. I mean, sure, I wrote it, but still. I BLAME YOU.