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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (344)

Friday
Mar232012

Dora the Engorger

 

"Hey there, Dora, something seems different today!

 

"Did you change your hair?"

"Or maybe start a career in pillow smuggling?"

 

Ok, ok, to be fair, Dora might be pregnant. It's just a lot less traumatizing to imagine her purple monkey friend is stuffed down her pants holding a basketball. And wow are there a lot of things wrong with that statement.

Still, you must admit: her face looks good on paper...stuck on cake.

Ok, maybe you don't have to admit that.

Oh, and Dora, sweetie, didn't anyone ever tell you to match your foundation to your double chins? Take it from a girl who knows: it's all about the blending. And scarves. Scarves are awesome.

Now I know you can't put a price on perfection, but fortunately this labor of...labor...only cost wreckporter Becky S. a measly two hundred and seventy five dollars. However, she also reports, "when I complained to the bakery, I was told they wished they had charged us more because they had so much work in it." So I guess the price just went up if you want a similar piece of...work. Sorry, guys.  Maybe they'll give you a discount if you bring your own basketball.

Wednesday
Mar212012

Spring Love is in Despair

So now that Spring is officially here, you know what's coming, right?

That's right: wedding season.

[rubbing hands together gleefully]

 

BRING ON THE WEDDING WRECKAGE!

 

Let's kick things off with a lovely Spring Fling inspiration:



...that in execution got a little, well, flung:

I like to imagine that this was delivered on the back of the baker's scooter, and that those smushed fondant butterflies on the sides were all tragic road casualties. Because, somehow, that actually makes this more excusable/believable.

 

What the baker says:

"Yes, I can do that!"

 

What the baker means

"Yes, I have some shiny ribbon!"

 

Maybe at the reception they shone a spotlight on the ribbon so the glare would blind all the onlookers. That's what I would do.

Oh, hey...maybe that was the baker's plan all along!

 

Bride: "That looks TERRI..."

Baker: [flashing ribbon]

Bride: "I CAN'T SEE! Where'd you go? Are you here? Where's the cake? Hey! WHERE'S MY PURSE?!"

[sound of running feet]

 

This next one could be a metaphor for life and love in so many ways. Not that I mean anything by that, fellas. 'Cuz I don't. So never mind. In fact, can we not talk about this anymore, please? It's just a cake, ok? SHEESH.

EXPECTATION:

REALITY:

Waw-waaaaaw.

 

Because wedding cakes are like marriages: some settling may occur.

 

Thanks to Valentina V., Michele W., & Paula B. for sharing their wedding day woes. We're here for you, ladies. Right after we finish laughing.