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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (276)

Wednesday
Jun162010

Our World Cup Overfloweth

So apparently this World Cup thing is a big deal. I know because it keeps breaking Twitter. And when Twitter's down, I'm forced to come to grips with my Twitter addiction, and let me tell you, henchpersons; that is NOT something you want me gripping at the crack of noon.

Anyway, when Twitter isn't broken, it has a handy little "World Cup" definition up, along with a soccer ball icon.

By studying this definition ("the largest sporting event in the world") and icon, I have come to the conclusion that the World Cup has something to do with soccer. Or football. Or something sports related.

And, gauging by the tweets and Facebook statuses I've seen, the World Cup also features a lot of these:

Er, those are supposed to be bees.

No, I don't know why they're puking orange jelly.

Or why their hive has an orange jelly door outlined on it.

Look, the point is that bees buzz. And from what I hear, there's a whole lotta buzzing going on at the World Cup.

The source of the buzzing is hundreds and hundreds of of vuvuzela horns:

which look nothing like this.

So anyway, I guess at this point I should probably show you some Soccer wrecks.

Whut.

Hey, this could be a soccer wreck. I mean, really, do you know what it is? No, you do not. Therefore, I think the real question here is, how do you know it's NOT a soccer wreck? Hmm?

Ok, ok, fine. Here:

No, really, it's a soccer cake. Honest.

And this is a drawing of a molecule made with tinker toys:

Or possibly another soccer cake.

How about a few more traditional black and white "balls?"




Note: At this point, I actually had to google "soccer ball" just to remind myself what they're supposed to look like. In case you're in the same boat, here:

Now go scroll up and compare. I'll wait.

[whistling]

All set? Good. One more:

Mmmm. I'm not sure if I want to headbutt it or eat it!

(Ok, that's a lie: I'd definitely prefer the headbutt.)


And finally, a cake diorama of the 2010 World Cup:

Or something.

I mean, it could be, right? I haven't watched any of it, so you tell me: has anyone been shot with an arrow yet? Or have any of the female cheerleader's feet fallen off?

Janet, Dan W., Nina T., Ann S., Rachel L., Hillary H., Aimee P., Jen E., Brandy B., & Sarah W., if that kind of stuff is going on, then I'm totally checking out the World Cup after all.

Wednesday
Jun092010

Sullen Sully

Hi all! Number 1 here with an ode to my favorite PIXAR movie: Monsters Inc.! Every single time I see it, I laugh harder than I did before. I'm not the only one, either. Loyal Wreckporter Michelle and her grandson Zacharia love this animated masterpiece so much they even ordered a cake that looked like James P. Sullivan, or "Sully," for Zacharia's 2nd birthday.

In case you've never seen the film, here's what Sully looks like:

Now, ready to see what Michelle got back from the bakery?

(wait for it...)

(keep waiting...)

(don't forget how cute and fluffy Sully is...)

 

Aaaand...

 

Presto!

 

"Oh, you're supposed to bake the cake before you frost it? That explains a lot."

 

Are you on the phone with Ghostbusters? Need a closer view for a more accurate description?
"He slimed me."

 

Good gravy, if this monstrosity popped out of my closet when I was a kid, I'd still be sleeping with a nightlight...and a rifle.


Of course, what matters is what the birthday Boo thought of his special cake:

 

 

'Nuff said.


Thanks, Michelle R. for sending in this sugary beast. Better luck next year, Zach!