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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (371)

Monday
Oct082012

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

In honor of Canadian Thanksgiving, I will now explain the slight and subtle differences between Canadian turkeys and American ones.

[pushing up glasses]
[consulting clipboard]

Ahem.

First and foremost, Canadian turkeys carry all their tail feathers on their heads.

 

This is both to aid in attracting a mate, and to keep their little hineys cool.

  "Hey, bebeh, whyn't choo come on over heah, and I'll play us some Canadian Barry White. By which I mean William Shatner singing 'Rocket Man.' UNG. Yeeeeah."

 

Canadian turkeys also prefer styling their head tail feathers in a Mohawk, just to show their overbearing turkey mothers that they're independent birds who don't take orders from anyone.

Plus it makes them look like that eyeball monster that popped up in the trash compactor during Star Wars. Which is awesome.

 

Canada is the only country in the world where one can find the extremely rare "Cthulurkey".

 It is very dark and terrible. But at least it tends to sleep a lot.

 

While American turkeys' natural predators are mankind and wild boars*, Canadian turkeys remain savaged by the brown-bottomed field mouse:

Don't laugh**. It's a real problem, people***.

*What, of all the "facts" in this post, did you really think THIS one would be correct?

** Laugh

***No, it's not.

 

And finally, and perhaps most impressively, Canadian turkeys are surprisingly good at Yoga:

Aaaand breeeeeathe.

 

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, everyone! And may you also have a reasonably tolerable Columbus Day.


Thanks to Erin J., Michelle G., Amy W., Ali S., Laura R., & Emily B., who reeeeally want to see that Shatner video again. Well, ok, guys, if you insist:


 

Thursday
Sep272012

Birch, Please.

 

 Me: AAAUUGH! BWAHAHAAA!

John: What? [seeing cake] What IS that?

Me: [laughing]

John: Is it a cow? Buried face down?

Me: [still laughing]

John: Wait, no, I think it's a tree. A birch tree.

Me: [shrill cackling punctuated by honking, bugle-like snorts]

John: Is there a two-liter in that thing? Seriously, look; I think there's a soda bottle in there! Jen?

Me: [wiping eyes] Oh, so you're saying it's all bark and no bite?

John: Ug, that's terrible. We need some good puns.

Me: Hey, if you don't like my puns, you can make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.

John: That's it. No more Back to the Future marathons for you.

Me: Awww. You are my density, baby.

 

Thanks to Amanda C. for proving there's nothing shady at all about a tree stump with two limbs.