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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (253)

Monday
Oct052009

A Long Shot

This is not the post that was originally scheduled for today.

Why?

Because the original post - which was written last week, mind you - said the following:

"As some of you know, Jen and I are currently touring around this great country of ours talking about cake, signing books, and trying desperately not to vomit. As of today, Jen has lost two fingers on her signing hand and has twelve different strains of the flu. Other than that, though, the tour's going really rather well."

Yep, that was John being funny, and yep, he apparently has now picked up my uncanny knack for pre-writing posts which foreshadow terrible events. Only this time, it's personal.*

If you're wondering where we are right now, here's a hint:


[crickets chirping]

Hm?

What do you mean, "that doesn't help any?" C'mon, isn't it obvious? That's only a super-famous sports logo for a super-famous sports team!

No?

Ok, fine, if I have to spoon-feed it to you:


Now do you know where we are?

Er, no, not "the home of the flame-broiled Loch Ness Monster." Sorry. It is the home of the "Longherns," though, if that helps any. I'm surprised you can't see it, though. I mean, don't those cakes look exactly like this?


(I suggest you go look at those Wrecks again now, to better "appreciate" them. Heh.)

Ok, last hint:

What, nothing? Tch. Look, I don't see how this jumbled mass of shotgun shells and strawberries could make it any clearer. [head tilt] Well, unless maybe you held them up to a mirror. Heh. Yeeeah.

Margaret I., Leti S., & Jennifer F., that last one really is in a sorry state, isn't it?


- Related Wreckage: The Tell-Tale Heart

* In the past two days John has suffered a head injury, pneumonia, and a staph infection of the blood. As of this writing he's still in critical condition, and the remainder of the book tour has been canceled. (Because when we wreck a book tour, we wreck a book tour.)

Friday
Oct022009

Comic Issues

Technically, bakeries have to get permission from the copyright holders to use certain logos in their cake designs. But really, who has the time or energy for that?

Besides, why use this...


...when it's essentially just a red "S" on a yellow triangle anyway?

Totally the same, AND free for anyone to use.

Come to think of it, you really don't even need that triangle; a yellow background still gets the idea across, right?

A "super" cake, for a, er, "great" man!

It's interesting to see the lengths bakeries will go to to avoid using a licensed Batman kit, too:

This one could fool just about any lawyer: a playing card and a friendly Halloween bat? Nope, no Batman stuff here!

Plus, this could be just your average creepy clown cake:

A very "serioust" clown, that is.

Here's my favorite, though:

"Now, Pat, we've got to make sure that 'Bat' and 'Man' are two separate words, okay? And obviously no bats."

"Nooo problem, boss. How do you feel about seagulls?"

Jessica T., Eddie, Jill M., Aileen M., & Maria, "super" job!

- Related Wreckage: The Joker's Revenge