Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (282)

Monday
Jul192010

Go Figure!

Today, class, we're going to learn the fine art of figure drawing.


First, decide if you want your figure to be male or female.

Both will only confuse people.

Next, arrange the limbs in a natural, comfortable-looking manner...


...always remembering that there are some things the human body simply cannot do.


Special circumstances, such as pregnancy, may be approached with a certain amount of artistic license. If the mom-to-be is self-conscious, feel free to make her stomach just a bit smaller than in reality.

The head should be connected with a graceful, appropriately proportioned neck:


If, however, you find that your head and body do not match up, simply employ the "hand out of nowhere" technique:

If anyone asks, it's doing a shadow puppet.

Or, if you find that hands are too difficult, simply leave them off:


Or for that matter, just omit all of the limbs and the head. After all, a well-drawn torso is more than capable of communicating the innate vitality and smooth, vivaciousness of youth:

Mmmm. Smooooth.

Thanks, Jessica G., Amy K., Misty S., Lynne T., Jessica S., Julie B., Bianca L., & Brinn M.! Win or lose, these Wrecks are quite the draw.

Thursday
Jun172010

Flip Flops (Hey, Look, a Built-In Pun!)

I once read one of those "You know you're a Floridian when..." lists, and number five was "...you wear flip-flops to a wedding."

Now, as a long-time Florida resident, I feel I should defend my fellow Sunshine Staters by informing the rest of you that they make some *very* dressy flip-flops. Have you seen the ones with the little rhinestones on the straps? [sing-song voice] Daaar-ling! And totally black-tie appropriate, I might add.

Anyway, during the summer months it quickly becomes obvious which Wreckerators have not only never worn flip-flops, but have probably never even seen a pair, either.

If these look right to you, get thee to a podiatrist! Stat!

What the...?

Good grief, that almost makes the cupcake cake [patooie!] version look decent:

Wait.
No...no, it doesn't. Never mind.

Aha! Well there's your problem: these aren't flip-flops, they're "flipp flopps."
Must be a Canadian thing.*

It gets worse when Wreckerators introduce a 3D element:

I honestly have no idea what that is jammed into the cake: Ribbon? Plastic? A moldy fruit roll-up? Bottom line: if you have to ask, don't eat it.

Here's one using either a piece of electrical wiring or a radioactive Twizzler:

But the airbrushing is what really sells it.

Of course, jamming a bit of ribbon or "candy" into a cake for the flip-flop strap is awfully complicated. Someone was bound to screw it up eventually:

*headdesk*

Shana M., Kelly M., Hannah H., Xiaomi Q, Beth C., D'Anna, & Gins V., thanks for taking a step in the wreck direction.

*Yes, actually, I do think that's funny. (Love ya, Canada!)

Note from john - Sorry everybody; I didn't get to comments for fifteen minutes and it appears we have a "bacon" EPCOT. Completely my fault. Sorry and wreck on!

UPDATE: Once again, Google Adsense wins the day! Check out the screen shot Tara G. sent in:

"Flip-Flops in BRIDESMAIDS Colors"
Bwahahahahaa!!