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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Mithspellings (352)

Wednesday
Sep082010

Hey Rab-baht!

Today, we're going to talk about carrots.

Or more specifically, carrot cake. You see, for hundreds of thousands of years, bakers have been trying to hide the taste of carrots - which is most charitably described as "dirt-like"- by mixing it with truckloads of sugar and cream cheese icing. This makes even the most rancid of vegetables - aka, carrots - slightly less disgusting and, of course, extremely healthy.

But how does a baker, who is bound by law to disclose that his cake actually contains putrid dirt veg, tell his customers without making them want to vomit?

Well, there's always lying:

"That's funny; why do these red velvet cupcakes taste like feet?"


Or making it completely illegible:

"Hm. I feel like these orange arrows are trying to tell me something about my Canb cake. But what could it be?!?"


Or the baker can mangle the shape of the aforementioned foul devil vegetable to confuse people:

"I'm detecting notes of chocolate icing and...is that...? Yes...I think it is! Fetid bunny swill. Huh."

Some have tried tweaking the color to muppet blue:


This way instead of imagining carrots - the ingrown hairs of the earth - in your cake, you can imagine synthetic fur - which is of course a vast improvement.

In the end, though, it's always best to just be honest:

Cak Rot?

Sounds about right to me.


Note: Before the carrot cake coalition comes after me, I should mention that I actually love carrot cake. Carrots, however, are evil like the froo-its of the de-vill. Which just goes to show: if you put enough sugar in something, even the most revolting, repellent, repulsive, sickening, nauseating, stomach-churning, stomach-turning, off-putting, unpalatable, distasteful, foul, nasty, vomitous vegetable known to man can be super duper yummy.

Special thanks to peachesrevenge, Simon L., Nora B., Lacey J., Natasha T., and my Mac Thesaurus, which never lets me down.

Friday
Sep032010

Decorating in the Meantime

This is why you never dine alone at fancy restaurants:

"I told you: my date is just really, really late! And who asked you, anyway?"

And this is why the Regional Transport Authority should always spell out their name:


I'm sure it's a pet name.


There's a fitness center in Dallas with the tag line, "Redefining the Fitness Experience." Something tells me the baker they hired for their anniversary cake didn't quite agree with that assessment, though:

"We're here to PLUMP [clap] you up!"

Hey, uh...guys? Has anyone checked with Justine about this?

0.0

And to think: all we've got are hamburgers and a Guitar Hero competition.

Ryan W., Gilbert, Kelsey C., & Karen B., may your Labor Day weekend be as labor-free as possible. (Unless you're having a baby. [Which would be weird, in Ryan or Gilbert's case. (Unless it's their respective female counterparts who are in labor. [Which would be cool.])])