The American Way, Replayed

Technically Veterans Day was yesterday here in the U.S., but since a lot of us get today off to celebrate, CELEBRATE WE SHALL.

Veterans Day is all about honoring those who have and are serving in our country's military. There are lots of great ways to do this:

This is not one of them.

Now, I happen to know that a fair number of military personnel read this blog - a fact I find both humbling and just a teensy bit alarming, since I'm not sure those who share my twisted sense of humor should have access to heavy artillery. (Holy Hand Grenade, anyone?) 

On the other hand, I do so enjoy all the e-mails with the giant "DECLASSIFIED" stamps on them.  Makes me feel all James Bond-ish, only in an American, hermit-girl-blogger kind of way.

So in your honor, my dear veterans, here are some patriotic cake designs that will surely bring a tear to your eyes.

 Tissue?

The underline is what really sells it.

 

Of course today is about you, the troops:

And as "Owl Troops" you deserve "Supott."

Because you are all "Hero's."

 And so we "honer" you, our "vetr ans."

Kind of like how we honor the flag, the symbol of this great nation:

Stirring.

 No wait, I take that back: this Wreck leaves me shaken, not stirred. [ba dum bump!]

Some bakeries pipe their greetings on clear plastic sheets, which they then lay on top of the finished cakes. It's cheating, sure, but this way bakers can trace their messages or start over if they make a mistake.

Or just slap the plastic on anyway and call it a "Vetrans" day.

 

So remember, everyone: it is thanks to our veterans that we have the freedom to live in this great country, the United States...

 ...of Amercia?

Hang on, that doesn't sound right. Can we try that one again?

Muuuch better. 

(But who stole the corner piece?!)

Thanks to Eric H., Dave K., Sara B., Nikki G., Adria P., Tory L., Michael H., Christina R., Tara L., & Allyson H. for fully vetting today's wrecks.

Limer-Icks

There once was a wedding confection

That failed the bride's final inspection

So we grabbed an airbrush

Painted it in a rush

And told Yanks it was for their election!

I'm finding it rather outrageous

That I have to spend some of my wages

On a cake for my Dad

Of a girl, partly clad

Is it me, or does she look contagious?

I hope you don't find me neurotic

But I'm sure my new heart is necrotic

It rattles and shakes

And I think that it's cake...

Did I mention my surgeon's psychotic?

Clap your hands for poor Tinkerbell

A bee sting has caused her to swell

Grab a fresh EpiPen

And inject her again

For she's really just not looking well.

 If you just can't spell "congratulations"

And your piping skills won't win ovations

You should find a career

Where you won't end up here

 

 

 

Or at least take extended vacations.

I once saw a cake in Nantucket

That had frosting applied by the bucket

Though it's called a nice gift

It's too heavy to lift

So I guess that I'll just have to chuck it.

Thanks to Fiona N., Annabelle K., Melissa J., Michael C.,  Miranda B., Wendy R., Erika H., and Arlene for making me speak in rhyme all day. (Hey guys, are there rocks ahead?)