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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh Poop (52)

Monday
Jun142010

Just Beachy

Summer's here!

Time to celebrate the sandy beaches, pink and orange sunsets, and crystal blue waters of the...uh...

...apocalypse?

"And the sky didst turn black, and the sea to ash, and lo, the Wreckerator did thusly expendeth her wrath upon the pink paper umbrella. Eth."

(Before you ask, no, this isn't another oil spill cake: it was sent in last year.)

Gee, bakers, all you need for a decent beach cake is some water and a palm tree. How hard is that?

Ok, let me rephrase that.

How about just a palm tree? A nice, simple, cheery...

Great gobs of corpulent crappy coconuts, what is THAT?!?

Right. Um, let's get back to the beach scenes, shall we?

Looks like someone's beach birthday has a heavy chance of sprinkles:


Yeesh. Now that is a crumby way to color a cake.

Still, I guess it's better than this "beach umbrella" here:


Or as I like to call it: "Sprinkled poo dreams, in four movements"

Ally F., Alyska B., Jodee R., Shae, & Colleen M., this is one time when I can honestly say I don't want sprinkles.

Tuesday
May112010

The Bakers Wrecked 'Em

Note to the squeamish: some of today's cakes are medically gross. I've seen much worse, but still...put the coffee down.

As the child of a former RN, I couldn't let National Nurses Week go by without showing the nurses of the world some love.

And by "love," I mean this:

Uh...
I don't really know what's going on here ("I'm an escalator, not a doctor!"), but it looks serious.

Nurses have to have pretty strong stomachs to do what they do, not to mention a healthy dose of humor. This combination, however, makes for some...shall we say..."interesting" cakes.

Oooh, gutsy.
(At first I typed "gusty." Bwahahahah!)

Now, while Canadian nurses apparently celebrate their degrees with stuff like this:

A giant...water bottle? And a decapitated bear. And bar codes. And...uh...what the heck, Canada?

American nurses prefer their cakes a bit more bottom heavy.

As a Trekker, I really must object to this. Once I finish sniggering.

And yes, it gets worse.

This was was found over on Emily's blog:

It's a thermometer, not a straw.

Oh, and sorry for putting "straw" in your head if it wasn't there already.

Yeah, hindsight being 20/20, that was a bum crack to make. A real wipe-out. A party-pooping crapshoot*. Sorry.


*or crap chute, if you want to get technical.

Seriously, though, nurses, what's with the butts?

FUNNY-BUT-TRUE-STORY: My hubby John is a 250-pound tough guy who faints at needles. Once in college he had to get a shot in the cheek. The southern cheek. Well, the moment he bent over the table was the moment he first discovered that - you guessed it - he faints from needles.

He regained consciousness on the floor, in the lap of the lovely lady nurse who had caught him, with his pants down.


He now tells this story to every nurse we meet.


Next time, maybe we should bring cupcakes to help smooth things over:

"You take the pink pill, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the bloody band aid, and dude, you are nuts."

Audrey A., Shannon S., Matthias, Emily A., Jenny C., Sila Y., & Corey F., that's one way to call dibs on the vanilla cupcakes.